Please Drive with Aloha

I returned from Hawaii this past weekend, and it appears I came back with a sickness. Nope, not the cold that one of my traveling companions brought back. Or some string of the swine flu that's apparently hit Hawaii. This is something more along the lines of Aloha fever, or Oahu disorder perhaps. The kind of sickness that gets deep into peoples bones, affecting their brains and functionality. The kind that makes an entire state find a 35 mph speed limit on a highway reasonable. Or causes them to arrive places, "in a Hawaiian minute" (really late); propels them to 'drive with Aloha' (no middle fingers or horns or cutting each other off), and call people they barely know 'Ohana'.

It's a slower pace of life there...as are many places outside of California and New York and much of America. People aren't in a rush - both locals and the many tourists who are simply there to enjoy the beauty around them and spend time with friends or family.

That was one of the things I was looking forward to most about my trip, and which I still see as one of the best parts; we didn't have any major agendas, no big tasks to attend to. We woke up each morning with a vague idea of where our feet (and convertible Jeep) would take us, but we rarely set an alarm or rushed to get anywhere. We spent hours sitting or laying on the beach, playing in the water, taking pictures and chatting at sunset, talking with God over Kona coffee in the early morning, and taking leisurely meals, walks and hikes. 'Community' is another way of summing up what we experienced in Oahu. And what you're really able to experience more of when you're not in a rush.

As I got to enjoy more of this...driving slowly down the highways or stopping whenever we saw something pretty to take pictures of, I thought about life back in California. Work, responsibilities, task lists, packed rush hour traffic, strangers who never say 'hello', speeding drivers, speeding grocery shoppers, agitated high-heeled speed-walking execs on their cell phones, and everything else that says 'Hurry! Go! Get more done! Your worth depends on it!' flashed in my mind and made me cringe. And then just made me feel bad for everyone still stuck in that lifestyle, and it suddenly appeared so foolish to me. Even if I already knew it was foolish, I realized how much worth I put in being busy and productive. I'll even try to look busy if I'm not, so others think I'm busy and important and accomplishing much. Sad, really.

But why is busyness so important? What does getting more done really accomplish? I guess it makes us feel good about ourselves. Or shields us from social or emotional confrontation we don't want to deal with. Or provides an excuse from doing the things that truly matter that we'd rather avoid. Of course there are many more reasons, but I know those are some of my biggest reasons for being busy. Our culture values it and so I place value and worth in what I'm doing and accomplishing. And I will admit that I perpetuate the problem - I judge people who aren't very busy or productive. You just sat around and watched TV today? You didn't do anything but hang out with friends? You're not exhausted from over-committing? What's wrong with you?

Granted, some of that is my personality, or some of it is truly over-committing to things I love doing and care about. Yet I realized how often I'll leave a party or social event early for reasons as lame as being a little tired, or just wanting alone time, or being uncomfortable with making slightly awkward conversation with people I don't know as well. I get so wrapped up in good things I need to get done that I ignore needs of people around me. Truth be told, sometimes accomplishing tasks is much easier than sitting down to listen to a friend talk about their problems.

However, community is an idea God has been laying more and more on my heart. How else do you get to share your faith besides getting to know people? How am I supposed to display Christ to my neighbors if I never allow space to be with them? How do I get into deep conversations if I'm always rushing to the next thing?

When we go to do ministry in Hollywood, we go with nothing but time. Time to hang out and get to know people. And when we have a building, it's going to be a place that fosters community and creates safe space for people to hang out and find out about Jesus in a comfortable environment that they actually want to be in. Hopefully many of us will be able to move there and become part of the community. If I were to live my same busy, rushed life there, I'd do no good. So, am I doing any good where I'm at?

In Hawaii I got to know my friends much better. I had time to just be with them and enjoy them and find fun things to do together. When I got back I listened to the sermon I'd missed at church, and he mentioned how people in the mid-west move slower. He said something like, "In California it's like we're rushing to go nowhere. In the mid-west, they know they're going nowhere, so they take their time". Funny comment, but true. One of my friends had said something very similar in Hawaii. Yet I still worry that I'll be judged for not doing enough, for having time to do nothing but sit around with people. Unless of course, I make it clear that I'm 'doing ministry'...then it's accepted.

So what am I rushing to? When I stand before God with my completed task list, will he be proud? Or say, "great. but did you love people? did you love me? did you read my word and take the time to respond?"

When I got back from vacation, I found myself driving a little bit slower, having more patience with slow store clerks or people walking in front of me or bad drivers. I stuck around at social gatherings just a little longer than I normally would, realizing I had nothing important to get home to. And when I truly had something I had to rush to, I felt pretty bad that I couldn't stick around longer with whoever I was with to dig more into their lives. Oddly, it kind of looked like love. I stopped focusing on how fast I could get to the next thing, and suddenly I had plenty of patience and compassion for others, even a desire to converse with them instead of just hurrying on.

I'm liking this so far, and plan to keep trying to incorporate some slowness into my life. There are still plenty of distractions in my downtime (such as the internet ...and blogging :))... so I don't quite have it down yet. But ultimately this is what I want my life to be about - someone who takes time for people, to hear and listen to them, be there for them, allow for conversations that lead to Christ. Maybe even do it so much that people wonder, "why is this girl like this? why does she spend so much time caring about me?" and hopefully cause them to wonder about God.

And if God leads me to serve the poor and needy in Hawaii, well, I guess that's just a sacrifice I'll have to make ;)

Full Expression of the Gospel

From: http://poorinspirithw.blogspot.com/2009/05/full-expression-of-gospel.html:

I read these words from Newsong pastor Dave Gibbons this week and it made me think even more about the concept of community that God has been teaching me so much about lately:

"Yes, we're focused on comfort in the American church and it's led to a consumer church. In the process, we've missed the full expression of the gospel. We've missed out on the second most important commandment, which is to love your neighbor. And who is your neighbor? As defined in the scriptures-the story of the Good Samaritan-it's not someone like you, it's actually someone not like you, someone you are not naturally drawn to, someone of a different culture, someone you may even hate. Jesus said, Love God and love your neighbor. If you can love someone who is unlike you, that's when the world will take notice..."

I've been trying to interact more with my neighbors just within my apartment complex to get to know them and pray for them. I'm still working on how to tangibly love them while I barely know them, and praying that God will give me opportunities. Because God has placed me here and around these people for some reason, and I know I need to be a light to them.

But it made me think even more about community in Hollywood and how we do ministry there...

This past week I went to a conference with work and was able to interact with/hear from some big thinkers, consultants and pastors (such as Dave Gibbons) who are living in these kind of communities or working to build them. Since then, my mind has been flooded with possibilities of what ministry in Hollywood could look like, what community means, how important it is, and what that will require of me.

..."When we got in to a new city to initiate ministry, what do we generally do? We think demographically: who is like me? Shouldn't we instead ask, Who are the most marginalized people in this community, and then go love on them? Love on them with no strings attached! I really believe that as we reach the marginalized we will reach the masses. Isn't this what God demonstrated? People who saw Jesus chose to be his disciples. They saw who he hung out with-the fringe-and they said, "Jesus is for us." That was the story that became viral."

I'm used to what Broken Hearts does in Hollywood, who we interact with and the lifestyle and environment down there. So I forget this, but truly, we stand out. People notice us and know what we do. We meet people who say they've known who we are and what we do for months, because they've watched us (unbeknownst to us). Why? We're mostly a bunch of white, college-aged, clean-cut kids who show up every week, completely out of place. We don't go for drugs or prostitution or crime...we're there to love people and tell them about Christ. That's not normal.

When a white girl who exudes naivete and innocence excitedly greets and hugs a black, transsexual prostitute and starts talking at a table in a donut shop about how their weeks have been, people take notice. Or a Lebanese college student from Orange County hangs out for an hour in a liquor store talking to the owner about his family, without ever buying alcohol, it stands out as abnormal.

And the more we can do of that, the more time we can spend in that area, interacting with these people on a daily basis and sharing their trials and being there for them day-in and day-out, the more that type of healthy community can grow and allow for the love of Christ to be more than words. Maybe that will water the seeds that have been planted and allow us to experience a great harvest.

It's easy to go to church on Sundays, have our small groups or bible studies throughout the week, go to a Christian school or work at a Christian job and say that we love our neighbors and hope others will see and experience that love. Which they absolutely can. But that's easy. Even the 'pagans' do that, it's not all that unique.

But what if I spend more time getting to know my next door neighbors of 4 different backgrounds and ethnicities and worldviews, and treat them like I would my Life Group? What if we all hung out with the homeless, poor, widows, gang members and drug dealers around us? How weird would that look? As a RockHarbor pastor recently taught, wouldn't that make people ask: "What happened here? What happened in this person's life to make them that way?"

Please join Broken Hearts in praying that God would give us a building, a way to pay for it, and wisdom to know how to use it to further an Acts-like community in Hollywood!

Working out and Follwing Jesus - Part 2: sacrifice as a necessary step to acheive a bigger purpose

I wrote a few days ago on the fitness concept of working out in order to become motivated to work out, and how similar that is to doing "God's will". Sometimes we need to step out in faith and just act, and then God will lead us or give us more direction.

But there are many other comparisons to be made...

Sometimes when I’m monotonously taking step after step on the stair machine, or lunging to the point that it feels like my legs are going to give out, I observe my own actions as well as those around me. The gym is filled, day-after-day, with people working towards a goal they have in mind. Be it health, weight loss, muscle-gain, endurance training, we all share a ‘no pain, no gain’ mentality. We have hope, and faith, that if we persist through the toil, we will come out better on the other end.

I enjoy working out for several reasons, but there are days when I’d rather be going out to dinner with friends or taking care of chores at home. But I go to the gym in a routine fashion, fully believing that if I put myself through some pain and difficulty and sacrifice a few things I’d rather be doing, that it’ll all pay off. Why else would I do squats or bicep curls that cause my muscles to burn and ache, or run interval sprints that wear me out? I have confidence that the momentary discomfort will make me stronger, faster, leaner, and help me to look and feel the way I hope for.
In other words, I’m willing to go through some discomfort and pain for something that I can’t see or assure, but that I believe is for my good, for a bigger purpose. And apparently, so are a lot of other people I see in the gym on a daily basis.

I constantly think about my life and how I'm living it for Christ. Am I sacrificing it enough? Am I too comfortable? Am I doing things that are hard, scary, difficult, because I know they'll result in the saving of souls and God's glory? Am I being lazy (like when I cop out and walk on a treadmill for 30 minutes just to say I did something that day) and just getting by? Or am I doing all I can do for God, knowing that the momentary discomfort is nothing compared to the treasure in Heaven? If I am aiming to be like Jesus, it is clear from the Bible that my life will include trials, persecution, discomfort, and doing things out of faith, trusting that he will provide the results.

I recently put a verse up on my mirror to read every day that is a perfect example of this from the apostle Paul:

"When I am with those who are weak, I share their weakness, for I want to bring the weak to Christ. Yes, I try to find common ground with everyone, doing everything I can to save some. I do everything to spread the Good News and share in its blessings. Don't you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified." - 1 Cor. 9:22-27

I wish I could say I have this nailed. That I do what Paul did. That I discipline the way I live my life the same way I discipline my physical body. I wish I could say I take every opportunity to share Christ with those who don't know him, that I pushed through discomfort to tell every person I encounter about him. I don't. Not even close.

But when I'm on a cardio machine with sweat pouring down my face, or lifting a weight to the point that my muscles are shaking and can't lift anymore, I wonder why I seem to train well for a 'prize' that will fade, while taking the easy way out when it comes to what really matters...

Working out and Follwing Jesus - Part 1

I work out a lot. I love physical activity and being outdoors and active, or in the gym lifting weights or getting in a good cardio session.

I also love God. I love learning more about him, growing in faith and love, and trying to be like him.

I've always been aware that there are a lot of similarities between the physical and spiritual, but recently I just seem to be more aware and doing more comparisons. My physical life is becoming a source of better understanding for my spiritual life. Which is why I'm going to start a series of posts on the subject.

I read this in a fitness magazine the other day while I was on the stair machine: "Many people think we need to motivate ourselves before we take action, but the opposite is also true - by acting we can motivate ourselves," says Tal Ben-Shahar, Ph.D. "If you can force yourself to just get up and start moving, within minutes it'll get easier and your attitude will change."

It struck me that these same sentences could be inserted into a spiritual formation book and be talking about the Christian life. In fact, I'm pretty sure I've read things very similar to them in various books.

If you read enough fitness magazines, articles, etc, everyone says that when you don't feel like working out, just say you'll go for 5 or 10 minutes. Put your clothes on, get out the door, and do the 5 or 10 minutes. The majority of the time, once you've started you'll gain motivation, start to enjoy it, and end up doing a longer workout. Generally I'm pretty motivated to work out (probably because I'm also very motivated to eat!), but some days it's just hard. "I should swim today...but I don't want to, I'm too tired. But I really should. Ok, 20 minutes. I'll just do a good 20 minute swim and then be done." I've done that with runs, weights, elliptical machines, bike rides, etc. Most of the time, those days when I'm most tired and least motivated are the days I end up not only completing the 20 minutes, but getting so into and enjoying the endorphins so much that I go 40, 45, 60 minutes...just never quite ready to stop. And of course, am SO glad that I chose to just do it.

Similarly, there are many weeks I don't feel like going out to participate in ministry on the streets of Hollywood. I feel tired, lazy, sleepy, unfocused, etc. But I go anyway, thinking maybe I can leave early, maybe I can just talk to the 'regulars' that won't take as much energy, etc. Ususally those are the nights that I end up in amazing conversations that require great energy, and it's always there. Sometimes I even end the night energized and excited. Once I'm there, I enjoy it. It's just getting there that's hard. Or days that I see a homeless person on the side of the freeway that I want to pass up...but decide to stop and talk to, or give water to or whatever I have. And once I do, the conversation is really not so hard; and I'm happy I stopped, knowing I chose God over me (although I wish I could say that happens more than it does).

On a broader scale, many Christians often wonder 'what's God's will for me? Where does he want me? What ministry should I be doing?' I know I wondered that for a while, waiting for something to stir my heart and lead me to something. I participated in some things at church and heard about ministries that excited me. But nothing ever quite clicked. I just waited. Then I went to New Orleans. Not necessarily out of desire, but more just the thought that I had to do something (related to a break-up, so not entirely selfless). And God moved me. He stirred something in me that didn't really come to fruition until I was back and working on our church newspaper that led me to a story about a ministry in Hollywood. Again, the Holy Spirit gripped my heart and I never looked back. That's where most of my life and passion is dedicated now.

God helped me, he nudged me in the right directions. So, not exactly huge leaps of faith. But neither of those came from a 'wow, I really want to do this, God told me to do this!' kind of passion and feeling. But after I made a choice about something, then God did big things. I went, then he changed me and gave me direction. I didn't wait for motivation to strike, but went, feeling a big, "bleh", and came back with clarity and drive, glad that I'd gone. Just like when I say, "ugh, I guess I'll go to the gym for like 20 minutes. But that's all, then I'm outta there" and then stay for an hour...."Ok, I'll go to New Orleans....I'll go write this story, but that's it, then I'm outta there."...and still haven't left.

Not that it has to be that big. I joined a Life Group at church knowing I should, not because I love big groups of people and going to bed late. Now I love my Life Group and the community that is growing there.

Sure, I still wonder what God's will for me is in ministry or life in general...but I'm learning more often than not, whether at the gym or in my spiritual life, when I just go and do what I know I should, it almost always turns out much better than I could have hoped and God blesses the act of faith.

Don't look before you leap. Just leap. Then look back to see how God miraculously saved you from falling.

Learning: 'to live for Christ and to die is gain'

A friend of mine recently commented, with tears in their eyes and look of exhaustion, "I just want to feel alive" after a discussion about recent difficulties happening in life and general frustrations. This person's feeling was that through the years, the only way of feeling alive was by doing things to emotionally or mentally 'hurt' themselves. Which clued me in to why so many people seem to do the same thing.

The following day I read this quote by Irenaeus "The glory of God is the human being fully alive. And the life of the human consists in beholding God."

I shared the quote with this person, intending to spur the questions of what it means to be fully alive, how we define it, and how God defines it. What is beholding God? Many things come to mind, his glory being the main one, with a million implications coming of that.

As I wrote emails back and forth to another friend today about life, things we were learning, ways we were growing, etc, I realized I felt alive. More than I have in a while, and not just because the sun was shining and it made me happy. Or because I'd had a great day, or been able to use my gifts at work. Or because of a great laugh with friends, or a deep conversation, or a great moment with God, or any of the typical things that make me feel alive and well.

I realized on a deeper level that what I had been pondering over the past two weeks, I had begun experiencing the fruit of: what it means to live for Christ and eternity. How I have not been fully satisfied unless I am seeking Him, speaking of Him, sharing him with someone who doesn't know Him, or spending my time well for His purposes. In a new way, my mind has been so wrapped up in God and been delighting more in Him despite the things around me. Things in a conversation that may have bothered me before, or a certain circumstance, did not bother me these past two weeks. My priorities shifted slightly, my outlook changed...because I was beholding God more than perhaps I ever have. My thoughts have been more consumed with him, his purposes my purposes, and my desires more aligned with His. I've often tried to get to this place, and prayed about it frequently. And now I'm getting to experience and taste some of that, and see how good it is.

I feel more alive, not because everything is perfect, or circumstances have improved, but because "to live is Christ" is starting to take on more meaning. And only through the power of the Holy Spirit...because the only thing I've changed is listening to sermons that have led me here. I cannot attribute any of this change to me, it is all God's work within my heart.

In beholding God, I've seen more of his goodness and found a passion to share it. I think it is in that, and in fulfilling what he made me to do (make his glory known), that I have come to experience more of 'the abundant life'.

I must acknowledge in this, however, that my life circumstances are good. I fear and pray about the fact that perhaps I feel some of this deeper joy because I'm not exactly being tested. I have a job, I feel secure, I have my health, good relationships, hope, and peace. I would be lying to say those things don't matter, that somewhere deep down I'm not relying on my good circumstances. I can't be sure, because I'm not really being tested by fire. But I hope in this time that it's preparing me for any future refining and that I will be able to echo Paul's feelings of knowing how to be content with all things or with nothing. That in living the 'good life' I would empty myself of all that is not of Him and give all of my blessings to be a blessing to others. And that in times of 'nothing' that I would cling to him to fill me up and carry me through with the same passion for sharing his glory with those who don't know.

Odd, how truly feeling alive means a disinterest in this life, a death to self and a state of discontentment with the status quo. How beholding God is seeing through the things around me and being uncomfortable with the comfortable me, and finding life in treasures not of this world.