Sunday, December 21, 2008

Christmas Reflections

The long-anticipated morning was so close, just a few hours before the kids would go to bed and wake up to warm, cozy house filled with cheery sounds of Christmas music floating up into their rooms as they arose. Their sleep would be cut short, too excited by the prospects of the presents that awaited them downstairs beneath their tree.

It was finally Christmas Eve, and every year after church service, a nice dinner, and watching Scrooge, the kids woul put on their pajamas and scurry down to the basement to begin bringing beautifully wrapped Christmas presents up to place under the glowing Christmas tree in the family room. The family would wrap and store the presents downstairs, where the dog couldn't get to them, until the last minute on Christmas eve. The three kids would excitedly carry them all upstairs, checking the tags to see which presents were for them and mentally tallying who had the most. Guesses about what was inside ran through their heads as they carried each one up and placed it under the tree, the stack growing larger and larger. They laughed and joked and squealed with joy as they anticipated what they would find inside the next morning, discover who had given them what, and think about having all day to play with their new treasures.

But maybe the most exciting was that, when those final presents had been set under the tree, and the kids had all surveyed how much was there and went to bed wondering how many hours it would take them this year to get through all of the presents, was that they all knew in the morning there would be even more. Their mom would be up late wrapping more presents she hadn't had time to wrap yet, as she did every year, and then their parents would top off their stockings with little gifts and treats, and finally place "Santa presents" among the piles - unwrapped gifts to start their morning of quickly before they dug into the rest of the boxes. So even though they'd seen what was sitting beneath the tree when they went to bed, they would wake up to many new surprises. They'd get out of bed, wait for their parents to finish preparing everything as always - a fully set breakfast table, lights on the tree, music playing, stockings about to burst, a mounds of glorious presents all wrapped differently with love and care. Their parents would be waiting for them with the cameras to capture their thrilled looks and bliss as the bright lights and beautiful colors around the family room captured their gaze; and as their eyes began to settle on the "Santa presents" with shouts and squeals of excitement while their dreams were finally fulfilled....

This is how I've grown up knowing Christmas to be. It's always been one of the best times of the year, if not the very best. My family's Christmas is steeped in tradition, practically every part of the day and Christmas Eve marked out the same way each year. And we were blessed financially, always enough money to give us just about all of our heart's desires. The presents always stacked up more and more each year, and we would rejoice if our present-opening time took an hour longer than the previous year. We wanted to stretch out that day as long as possible. And of course we knew it was about Jesus. Along with the presents, we always went to church, spent time as a family caroling, reading the Christmas story, praying together, and usually reading a book or sharing a story that had someone in tears. When we went to bed, we had done so after worshipping and knowing what the season was about. But before we were even asleep, our minds were already set on the stuff we would get the next day...wondering how much of our Christmas list was fulfilled. And I actually remember multiple years that I now recall with embarassment; years that I didn't get a certain gift I had really wanted, and that after all the presents had been opened and I realized I didn't get exactly what I'd asked for, I felt bitter and pouty. It just about makes me sick to think about now, how grateful I should have been and wasn't so many of those years. How bad I feel for my mom who poured hours and so much energy into making the day great for us, and I acted to spoiled to even appreciate it, probably just making her feel bad. Still, those Christmases were always so special, filled with so much love and joy and wonderful family time...they're some of my very best memories.

But finally in the last few years I've started to get it. As traditions that I so tightly held onto have changed with spouses and kids and natural change, I've been forced to let go of what I have always known Christmas to be.With the help of church and life circumstances and maturity, I've taken some time and space and deliberate thought to actually prepare for the season. Not in a material sense, but in a spiritual way. It's taken me many years, but I'm kind of starting over and looking at Christmas the way it should be seen. About worship, about God and the gift of his son, about us giving gifts back to Him in honor and praise, and not about me or stuff or what I think the day should be. I don't have a family yet, but I consider how I'll celebrate it with my kids when I have them - will we give each other many presents? Will we serve others? How do I make is special and warm and full of delight and memories for them without doing it for the wrong reasons?

I watched a video on www.adventconspiracy.com this year, which wrapped up how I was feeling about things. Why do I stress so much and spend so much money to find perfect gifts for everyone and let the season go by without taking time for people, and time for Jesus many years? It seems totally backwards. And this website is dealing with just that issue. Give presence, not presents. Give money away to help the hungry, needy, poor, lonely...not give more stuff to those who are already rich. As our pastor reminded us this weekend, if you own a car you're in the top 8% of wealth in the world. Do we really need to give each other more stuff? Is that what Jesus' birth was about? Did the wise men give gifts to each other? Did Jesus come so we could have a day to give and receive more things that won't last? Yes, it's a great time to be with family, a time to show you care and are thinking about each other through giving to one another. But I think this video sums up all that I really want to say about it. I want to change the way I do Christmas - give less stuff, give more time, and give the money I've saved to those who really need it. Use this time to use our blessings to be a blessing, as God has intended.

So to steal more ideas from this video in lack of my own brilliance, I'll end this post with their quote:

Spend less on gifts
Give more presence
Love like Jesus

Merry Christmas :)