Worship Fully. Spend Less. Give More. Love All.
These are themes of the Advent Conspiracy movement (www.adventconspiracy.org), a reaction to our consumeristic culture and ideas of how to redeem the Christmas season for what it was originally intended.
Last year I posted a link to their video on my blog, because I loved the idea and was trying to get my mind around how to worship more in the Christmas season. Our pastor pointed out how rich we are in America, and how Christmas is basically a holiday of rich people giving more stuff to other rich people…and that stuck with me.
This year I’m trying to take one more step forward, to better grasp the concept and begin living it out. There are multiple thoughts and ways of how one can do this, including some shared at our church this weekend. I debated on sharing some specific ways of how I’m going to approach this season…because our church also recently talked about “investing in obscurity” and doing good without anyone knowing it as a way to break our pride and seek humility. So, talking about the “good” things I’m doing is an internal debate - it draws attention, but it also points to Christ (hopefully). When one of our pastors shared the way he and his family are sacrificing this season to give to others, I didn’t think “Wow, you’re so cool”….but it simply gave me a real, tangible idea of what I could do. So I hope I can do for others, while primarily holding myself accountable by putting this in writing.
I’ve decided this Christmas needs to be about the concepts above…sacrificing, yet giving more, in order to better understand and serve our Savior. One pastor mentioned that he and his family are eating rice and beans for dinner for the rest of the month, and will use the money they save to give to those in need.
I had already been contemplating fasting more often, because I have seen real value in that in my life recently. So I’ve decided to fast lunch (or an entire day) at least once per week. That way, I can pray during that time and use the money I save to give to someone else in need. And the other lunches I eat each week will be something very simple and inexpensive. I’ve also decided to spend less money on friends and family for Christmas…and will either give presence (rather than presents – another AC idea) or fair trade items that will benefit those who make them (ex-victims of sex trafficking, human slavery, etc, who are making their livelihood from these creations). I have also decided that I won’t make any clothing, jewelry, or just-for-fun purchases for myself until after Christmas.
Jesus coming to earth and then dying for us was the ultimate sacrifice – giving up his rights as God and becoming a servant to all. Shouldn’t I also make this season about sacrificing in order to worship him more and serve others better?
One of my favorite quotes is from Gandhi – “May I live simply that others may simply live.” I’ll admit I haven’t done a great job of living this out much of the time. But in this season of advent – of new beginnings - I’m laying out some steps to help me start dong a better job of allowing others to simply live. I hope you’ll join me.
And if you’ve come up with any brilliant ideas of how to enter into this season (and carry it out even after Christmas ends), leave a comment and let me know. I’d love to hear!
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Thursday, December 3, 2009
They Have Something I Want
Sometimes when I see all of the Facebook posts, Tweets, events, blogs, etc going on and on about social justice and things that we need to take a stand for or against, I wonder if it’s just a cool idea many of us have gotten caught up into. I see that it’s actually easy to get so passionate about doing, that we forget why and who we’re doing it for. If not in the name of Jesus, if not out of love, then it doesn’t really matter.
I could go on about that topic, but that’s for another time. But I’m one of those people who posts a lot of that social justice stuff. Why? That’s what I just asked myself recently, checking my motives. And as I thought about it, I believe my heart and motives are pure. But why do so many of us seem to be getting caught up in social activism and justice, etc? Maybe there’s some aspect of it that’s getting trendy and cool, but the other day, I had a series of conversations and interactions that reminded me why I’m passionate about serving ‘the least of these’ and why so many others are as well. And not just because it's trendy.
I’d just talked to Roland, a homeless man I know who I’m trying to help get home to his family this winter to have a place to stay. It was brief, and incredibly inconvenient (making me late to work), but telling him that I’d gotten the money to send him home was a great joy (thanks to those who donated to make it happen!). His surprise and that all he needed to do was gather up a small bag of belongings and he'd be ready to go, and his simple contentment as he told me about his $11.21 Southern food meal that he would get later at a local joint to fill him up brought a smile to my face.
Later on, as I left the grocery store, a teenage boy stopped me to ask for $.50. I had to ask more, about why he was there and what he needed help for, and we talked a bit about how he’d “F’d” up and been kicked out a year ago, and homeless since. But he said it was pretty easy to get the money for his motel room by asking people, and he didn’t seem to worried about things. He had $20 left to get, but all he’d asked for was $.50…
Later that night I spent a while on the phone with a friend from Hollywood, someone who’s been homeless for a long time and just trying to stay sober and clean and figure out how God fits in his life. He went on and on about how God provides for every one of his needs, takes care of him, keeps him sober and sane when he can’t do it himself. He said that he’s at peace and not worried, because he sees God continually provide even in the smallest ways, and knows that God takes care of his children just as any good father would.
When my tone expressed worry about him, he corrected me saying, "you're worrying about things you don't have control over. Don't worry!"
Today I read an article about Mark Horvath, a man I met a few weeks ago who’s raising a lot of awareness about homelessness because he used to be homeless. He’s used his last money at times, and given away belongings to others in need even though he himself was in need and homeless, or just barely out of homelessness. Because he knew he had to help, and if he didn’t maybe no one would.
As I reflected on these stories, I thought of one more I'd just read in the book “Same Kind of Different as Me” by Ron Hall and Denver Moore. It's about a wealthy, white couple who started volunteering at a rescue mission and how that changed their lives through the people they met. I saw a lot of myself in that book, and I looked back at a few page corners I’d turned down while reading and re-read this portion that so reminded me of me:
Luckily, over the past few years, this pride in me has diminished significantly (though it still lingers and rears its ugly head more than I'd like to admit). I don't think myself superior to others...most of the time, anyway. But sometimes I catch myself in a moment that brings out pride and allows me to be honest and see that, yes, I think I have wisdom to sprinkle into someone's life that they couldn' t possibly have. And perhaps it's true, maybe I have wisdom they don't. But very similarly, they have much wisdom that I don't. When they share it with me, that's when I'm embarrassed at my thinking. I see they've grasped and been given understanding that I have not been able to acheive or understand. They often know things about life and God that I still have so much yet to learn.
Just like Ron Hall…sometimes those of us who have worked hard and persevered to get what we want, and have the "perfect life" and are always striving to do more, end up in a place of pride and judgement. We think we have the right way, we think we have everything and know it all. But when we spend time with those who are so different form us, we get to see God in a new way. I get to see child-like faith that I long for. I’m humbled by those who have “nothing” and yet trust God for everything, while I have “everything” and yet worry about losing it or not having enough.
When I spend time with the poor, orphans, widows, needy, I see who Christ wants me to become. No, not homeless or orphaned…but someone who expresses the type of faith that they so often live their life by. I want to be more like Jesus. And when I’m with these people, I catch a glimpse of what that looks like. I see faith lived out. I see generosity and love and wisdom.
It’s not always easy to swallow that I can be corrected by someone that I think I’m so much ‘wiser’ than. But as I read today, God opposes the proud and exalts the humble. I want to be more like Christ…I think all Christians do.
So why do some of us get so passionate about the causes of the poor, needy and outcasts? Yes, because Jesus tells us to. But also because in these conversations we see something in them that we want, that Jesus wants for us.
Today I read this in a random book at my desk: “Those who seek for much are left in want of much. Happy is the person to whom God has given, with sparing hand, as much as is enough” –Horace.
I think so many people seek to change the world, because as we do so, God changes us as well.
I could go on about that topic, but that’s for another time. But I’m one of those people who posts a lot of that social justice stuff. Why? That’s what I just asked myself recently, checking my motives. And as I thought about it, I believe my heart and motives are pure. But why do so many of us seem to be getting caught up in social activism and justice, etc? Maybe there’s some aspect of it that’s getting trendy and cool, but the other day, I had a series of conversations and interactions that reminded me why I’m passionate about serving ‘the least of these’ and why so many others are as well. And not just because it's trendy.
I’d just talked to Roland, a homeless man I know who I’m trying to help get home to his family this winter to have a place to stay. It was brief, and incredibly inconvenient (making me late to work), but telling him that I’d gotten the money to send him home was a great joy (thanks to those who donated to make it happen!). His surprise and that all he needed to do was gather up a small bag of belongings and he'd be ready to go, and his simple contentment as he told me about his $11.21 Southern food meal that he would get later at a local joint to fill him up brought a smile to my face.
Later on, as I left the grocery store, a teenage boy stopped me to ask for $.50. I had to ask more, about why he was there and what he needed help for, and we talked a bit about how he’d “F’d” up and been kicked out a year ago, and homeless since. But he said it was pretty easy to get the money for his motel room by asking people, and he didn’t seem to worried about things. He had $20 left to get, but all he’d asked for was $.50…
Later that night I spent a while on the phone with a friend from Hollywood, someone who’s been homeless for a long time and just trying to stay sober and clean and figure out how God fits in his life. He went on and on about how God provides for every one of his needs, takes care of him, keeps him sober and sane when he can’t do it himself. He said that he’s at peace and not worried, because he sees God continually provide even in the smallest ways, and knows that God takes care of his children just as any good father would.
When my tone expressed worry about him, he corrected me saying, "you're worrying about things you don't have control over. Don't worry!"
Today I read an article about Mark Horvath, a man I met a few weeks ago who’s raising a lot of awareness about homelessness because he used to be homeless. He’s used his last money at times, and given away belongings to others in need even though he himself was in need and homeless, or just barely out of homelessness. Because he knew he had to help, and if he didn’t maybe no one would.
As I reflected on these stories, I thought of one more I'd just read in the book “Same Kind of Different as Me” by Ron Hall and Denver Moore. It's about a wealthy, white couple who started volunteering at a rescue mission and how that changed their lives through the people they met. I saw a lot of myself in that book, and I looked back at a few page corners I’d turned down while reading and re-read this portion that so reminded me of me:
“I marveled at the intricate tapestry of God's providence. Deborah, led by God to deliver mercy and compassion, had rescued this wreck of a man who, when she fell ill, in turn became her chief intercessor. For nineteen months, he prayed through the night until dawn and delivered the word of God to our door like a kind of heavenly paperboy. I was embarrassed that I once thought myself superior to him, stooping to sprinkle my wealth and wisdom into his lowly life."
Luckily, over the past few years, this pride in me has diminished significantly (though it still lingers and rears its ugly head more than I'd like to admit). I don't think myself superior to others...most of the time, anyway. But sometimes I catch myself in a moment that brings out pride and allows me to be honest and see that, yes, I think I have wisdom to sprinkle into someone's life that they couldn' t possibly have. And perhaps it's true, maybe I have wisdom they don't. But very similarly, they have much wisdom that I don't. When they share it with me, that's when I'm embarrassed at my thinking. I see they've grasped and been given understanding that I have not been able to acheive or understand. They often know things about life and God that I still have so much yet to learn.
Just like Ron Hall…sometimes those of us who have worked hard and persevered to get what we want, and have the "perfect life" and are always striving to do more, end up in a place of pride and judgement. We think we have the right way, we think we have everything and know it all. But when we spend time with those who are so different form us, we get to see God in a new way. I get to see child-like faith that I long for. I’m humbled by those who have “nothing” and yet trust God for everything, while I have “everything” and yet worry about losing it or not having enough.
When I spend time with the poor, orphans, widows, needy, I see who Christ wants me to become. No, not homeless or orphaned…but someone who expresses the type of faith that they so often live their life by. I want to be more like Jesus. And when I’m with these people, I catch a glimpse of what that looks like. I see faith lived out. I see generosity and love and wisdom.
It’s not always easy to swallow that I can be corrected by someone that I think I’m so much ‘wiser’ than. But as I read today, God opposes the proud and exalts the humble. I want to be more like Christ…I think all Christians do.
So why do some of us get so passionate about the causes of the poor, needy and outcasts? Yes, because Jesus tells us to. But also because in these conversations we see something in them that we want, that Jesus wants for us.
Today I read this in a random book at my desk: “Those who seek for much are left in want of much. Happy is the person to whom God has given, with sparing hand, as much as is enough” –Horace.
I think so many people seek to change the world, because as we do so, God changes us as well.
Monday, November 9, 2009
“Dignity, Depravity & Dental Floss”
The following post is a short article written by Jason Kliewer, whose thoughts were so aligned with my own, it's easier to just post his writing than try to write anything similar. Not only have I shared these dental experiences, but also share the depravity of caring too much what people think, and then turning around and judging others for those same faults. So, here you go...enjoy!
I hate going to the dentist. Maybe it’s because I had 95 cavities as a kid. Well, maybe not 95, but at least 7. There are a couple reasons why I avoid the dentist. The first is that it always seems to take at least three shots of Novocain to deaden my gums. Not cool. The second reason is that a visit to the dental office reveals my need for the gospel, and that is also uncomfortable.
Let me explain. Uncomfortable feelings begin when I sit down in the lobby and have to fill out that medical paperwork. My problem arises when I reach question #12 on the form: “How many times a week do you floss?” Now, let’s be honest with ourselves - nobody flosses unless they have just eaten corn-on-the-cob. Nobody. I instantly start to sweat and squirm a little in my seat. I try to skip to question #13, hoping #12 goes away if I ignore it, but it doesn’t. Thankfully, I can actually remember eating corn-on-the-cob about 9-10 days earlier (which, if you factor in things like daylight savings time and leap year and stuff, is basically within a week). So that’s one. Then I remember that Mexican restaurants usually have toothpick dispensers by the cash register, and I like Mexican food a lot. I figure that two toothpick uses probably equals one flossing, and I’m sure I’ve used four toothpicks in the last week. That brings my total flossings (is that a word?) to three. I add one more to the total just in case I’ve forgotten anything, and I intentionally write sloppier than normal, so that the dentist may confuse my 4 for a 9, but I still breathe nervously when I hand in my paperwork, knowing that he will immediately glance down to #12, purse his lips and shake his head in disappointed disgust.
There was one time, however, when I did not have this traumatic experience with Question #12. Quite the opposite, in fact. After going in for a check-up and being told that I needed $13,500 of work done (after insurance!), I went on a military-like dental hygiene regiment. Three different rinses and two flossings each day. Every day. After three months, I visited a new dentist, and for the first time in my life, strutted up to the counter, confidently grabbed the paperwork and took a seat. I hurried through the first several questions, and when I got to #12, sat up straighter in my chair as a sense of pride overwhelmed me. It was one of those times that you read aloud to yourself, pretending like that’s just how you normally read, but you purposely talk loud enough for other patients to overhear. I wrote dark and neat, “14”, and nodded to myself, convinced that other patients would not only think I was an incredible flossing rock star, but would feel that they were, at-best, mediocre humans who really should be ashamed.
Both of these examples, although mundane and ordinary, revealed that I need the gospel on a daily basis. Later, questions came to mind such as: “Why was I embarrassed to admit my poor flossing habits to a dentist? Someone I didn’t even know?” and, “After I had flossed regularly, why did I enjoy belittling others?” This was about dental hygiene, but it was about so much more than dental hygiene.
In the first dental visit mentioned, I was uncomfortable because the thought of criticism threatened my sense of worth. Internal fears were triggered that told me I was unacceptable. I had not done enough good things to make me “good enough”. When I recognized the lies, I could preach the gospel to myself. This good news is that I have eternal value and worth because I am uniquely created in the image of God, by Him and for Him. Furthermore, because I have Christ in me, the Father calls me His son and I am always accepted by Him. I am “okay”. When I lose sight of my God-given dignity and believe that what I do (or don’t do) determines who I am, a dentist’s opinion is threatening. When I embrace the truth that I am a beloved child of God, I can relax and rest, free from this potential shame.
In the second office visit, my need for the gospel displayed itself in a different way. I was prideful and arrogant because I had worked hard and knew that I would have the dentist’s approval. And, to reinforce myself of how amazing I was, I looked down on others around me and was thankful I was not like them-irresponsible “non-flossers”. Just as I had to preach the gospel to myself when I was “not good enough”, so I needed to when I was “too good.” God’s message to me is that no matter how many commendable things I do, or how great people think I am, I am messed up! We all are. All of us are sick with sin and we need help- help that can only come from Christ’s life, death, and resurrection. When I lose sight of my depravity, I live like I don’t need God, because I can become “acceptable” on my own. In focusing on my self-achieved goodness, I look down on others because I see them as “worse” than me. The truth is that I am no more loved by God, no matter how much good I do. He perfectly loves terrorists, murderers, and non-flossers as much as he loves me.
Every day we are given opportunities to face up to - and embrace - both dignity and depravity. This can lead us to the gospel and to God…a God who brings freedom from shame and pride, and who uses even dental floss to draw us near to Himself.
Let me explain. Uncomfortable feelings begin when I sit down in the lobby and have to fill out that medical paperwork. My problem arises when I reach question #12 on the form: “How many times a week do you floss?” Now, let’s be honest with ourselves - nobody flosses unless they have just eaten corn-on-the-cob. Nobody. I instantly start to sweat and squirm a little in my seat. I try to skip to question #13, hoping #12 goes away if I ignore it, but it doesn’t. Thankfully, I can actually remember eating corn-on-the-cob about 9-10 days earlier (which, if you factor in things like daylight savings time and leap year and stuff, is basically within a week). So that’s one. Then I remember that Mexican restaurants usually have toothpick dispensers by the cash register, and I like Mexican food a lot. I figure that two toothpick uses probably equals one flossing, and I’m sure I’ve used four toothpicks in the last week. That brings my total flossings (is that a word?) to three. I add one more to the total just in case I’ve forgotten anything, and I intentionally write sloppier than normal, so that the dentist may confuse my 4 for a 9, but I still breathe nervously when I hand in my paperwork, knowing that he will immediately glance down to #12, purse his lips and shake his head in disappointed disgust.
There was one time, however, when I did not have this traumatic experience with Question #12. Quite the opposite, in fact. After going in for a check-up and being told that I needed $13,500 of work done (after insurance!), I went on a military-like dental hygiene regiment. Three different rinses and two flossings each day. Every day. After three months, I visited a new dentist, and for the first time in my life, strutted up to the counter, confidently grabbed the paperwork and took a seat. I hurried through the first several questions, and when I got to #12, sat up straighter in my chair as a sense of pride overwhelmed me. It was one of those times that you read aloud to yourself, pretending like that’s just how you normally read, but you purposely talk loud enough for other patients to overhear. I wrote dark and neat, “14”, and nodded to myself, convinced that other patients would not only think I was an incredible flossing rock star, but would feel that they were, at-best, mediocre humans who really should be ashamed.
Both of these examples, although mundane and ordinary, revealed that I need the gospel on a daily basis. Later, questions came to mind such as: “Why was I embarrassed to admit my poor flossing habits to a dentist? Someone I didn’t even know?” and, “After I had flossed regularly, why did I enjoy belittling others?” This was about dental hygiene, but it was about so much more than dental hygiene.
In the first dental visit mentioned, I was uncomfortable because the thought of criticism threatened my sense of worth. Internal fears were triggered that told me I was unacceptable. I had not done enough good things to make me “good enough”. When I recognized the lies, I could preach the gospel to myself. This good news is that I have eternal value and worth because I am uniquely created in the image of God, by Him and for Him. Furthermore, because I have Christ in me, the Father calls me His son and I am always accepted by Him. I am “okay”. When I lose sight of my God-given dignity and believe that what I do (or don’t do) determines who I am, a dentist’s opinion is threatening. When I embrace the truth that I am a beloved child of God, I can relax and rest, free from this potential shame.
In the second office visit, my need for the gospel displayed itself in a different way. I was prideful and arrogant because I had worked hard and knew that I would have the dentist’s approval. And, to reinforce myself of how amazing I was, I looked down on others around me and was thankful I was not like them-irresponsible “non-flossers”. Just as I had to preach the gospel to myself when I was “not good enough”, so I needed to when I was “too good.” God’s message to me is that no matter how many commendable things I do, or how great people think I am, I am messed up! We all are. All of us are sick with sin and we need help- help that can only come from Christ’s life, death, and resurrection. When I lose sight of my depravity, I live like I don’t need God, because I can become “acceptable” on my own. In focusing on my self-achieved goodness, I look down on others because I see them as “worse” than me. The truth is that I am no more loved by God, no matter how much good I do. He perfectly loves terrorists, murderers, and non-flossers as much as he loves me.
Every day we are given opportunities to face up to - and embrace - both dignity and depravity. This can lead us to the gospel and to God…a God who brings freedom from shame and pride, and who uses even dental floss to draw us near to Himself.
by Jason Kliewer
Monday, November 2, 2009
Thursday Night Thoughts: Is Being a Christian Boring?
Being a Christian is not boring. Really...following after Christ - not just being religious or associating with the Christian faith - but truly pursuing God and his calling on my life, is a crazy adventure. Unstable, unpredictable, scary, exciting, joyful...there's a myriad of words and emotions to describe it.
Last night in Hollywood was one of those exciting times on this journey of faith that once again, I saw God moving and putting me into situations that I never would have expected, and still have no idea what he's going to do. My church - RockHarbor - is helping to plant a church in Hollywood. Last night was only the third time they'd met as a larger group, inviting others and pursuing the vision that God has put on their hearts. In recent weeks, the pastor has embraced Broken Hearts Ministry and already formed a close partnership with us. So a few of us joined them at their temporary meeting place last night for their service...to see what God was up to, to join in prayer together for Hollywood and Broken Hearts, and to be a part of the movement in Hollywood.
I simply went as an observer, but found myself as an integral participant in the family of God. To my surprise, not only did David (the pastor) mention Broken Hearts and our partnership, but he had Antquan share about what we do, he has included us on their upcoming prayer events, they allowed us to invite the congregation to pray with all of us afterwards for Broken Hearts and our friends on the streets and opened their building up to us for a few hours; they also brought us up, introduced us, gathered around us to pray for us as a team and as individuals, and finished it off by taking an offering for the ministry.
The fact that I am considered a leader in any sense is still beyond my grasp...but as I sat back and thought about what I was involved in, I realized I was taking part in something new forming in Hollywood. I was taking part in a church plant from my beloved RockHarbor that I'd always thought I couldn't bear to leave. I recall hearing about other plants they were doing or coupels who were leaving to start a church and never had any feeling of calling towards that...and thinking I never would. I'd never be a part of something like that. I'm more of a show-up-to-an-already-successful-church-and-participate-as-I-can type of church-goer. And how could I ever leave RockHarbor? I love that place, and haven't found anything quite like it!
Now, I don't know that I'll actually attend this church when I'm able to move up to Hollywood (whenever that may be), but I very well might...and just being in on the formation of it is pretty wild. From the get-go, I felt a part of things last night. I talked with some of the pastors, met some of the other people getting it started...felt involved and known in a way I never have in a church before (aside from my time at The Hollywood Church).
Then, as worship was happening, David felt led to stop and pray for those who were feeling lonely in this dark, lonely city and needed some encouragement. A few people raised their hands, and I knew I had to pray for them. As I anticipate moving up there soon, I have to expect some loneliness, some discomfort, some "what am I doing here?!" days...leaving the familiar behind to embrace God's calling. And so their pain spoke to me, even though I haven't yet felt it.
I just sort of looked for who didn't already have lots of people around them, and found someone with 3-4 people gathered around him. It was Johnny, a man from England who has been working at RockHarbor for some time, pursuing God's calling on his life. A few weeks ago at church, he and his wife had shared about their journey and how - though not 'extraordinary', their story was about just trying to figure out what God had for them as they desired to go out into the community to bring church to those who don't know Him. Their confusion and uncertainty, the quoting of a personally meaningful verse in Isaiah, and their call to those of us at church that night to receive prayer if we felt the same, all gripped my heart. God spoke deeply to my soul that night, and here I was able to pray on behalf of Johnny and Amy for something I knew I'll probably experience in the future. It was a very powerful time, being encourged by their faith, and being able to encourage with deep-rooted sincerity and love for them. All for two people who I've never even met before.
As the service progressed into the message and prayer time, we talked about Acts 5 and the church that people didn't dare join, and yet couldn't stay away from. And we discussed the power of the Holy Spirit, which has been a topic on my mind a lot lately. After David talked, we took some time to reflect on what had spoken to us, and then got into groups to talk about it and pray for each other. I certainly never intended on most of our group's time being spent on me, but as we started a woman said she wanted to tell me something she felt God had put on her heart for me before we continued. It led into my thinking of my own desire for the power of the Spirit, while being somewhat fearful of it, of the unknown. Both she and her husband spoke powerfully into those feelings, prayed with me, and gave me great encouragement. This church is largely based from the Vineyard churches, which are much more charismatic than anything I've grown up with or spent time in. And I approach that hesitantly, but also open to how God may want to use those differences in my life. It was clear that these people are very attune to the spirit, and it seemed that God had a lot to speak to me in that last night. That perhaps that was an answer to many prayers. Even driving home later that night I experienced something new in talking to Him.
Afterward, a few stayed with us at the church and prayed with our BH members for our ministry, our friends, and Hollywood. Having that support for Rachel, who normally prays alone, was amazing. Seeing people who truly understand how critical prayer is and have a desire to pray for their city was amazing. Leaving that evening to hit the streets, I wondered if God had me here (either for a time or for the future) because of my desire to experience more of his Holy Spirit. All night that's what it was about. And besides being odd that I'm involved with a church plant to some degree, very crazy how I keep thinking of Hollywood as my city. I feel just as connected to it as I do to where I currently reside. God just confirmed that feeling throughout the night and that yes, this place is very much a part of my life to come.
Later at Del Taco, we met up with a couple of guys who are creating a new website to promote ministries, raise awareness, help take donations, etc. Making getting the word out about God's work viral. They had come to videotape some of what we do, the people we meet, etc, for a promo video for us and for their site. Two guys who took an entire night out to lose sleep, and do something for us that we never asked of them. I'd never even met them before, except through email getting help for our website. They walked the streets with us all night, and I felt completely comfortable having them there and enjoyed the brief time I had getting to talk with them.
All night I had examples around me of Christians who are really following Christ and living the life. Who are caring for others (especially their own family of God), giving of themselves in big and what may seem like small ways, but huge to us, and actually making us all feel like family. Not just people who believe the same things are call each other family because that's what you're supposed to do. All of us were being the church - to each other, to a city of dying people...and to be a part of that, and the quiet but thunderous voice of the Holy Spirit is just crazy...especially because it's so fun and exhilarating and fulfilling. I'm telling you, being a Christian is NOT boring. And I'm only part way into the journey, just scratching the surface...
Last night in Hollywood was one of those exciting times on this journey of faith that once again, I saw God moving and putting me into situations that I never would have expected, and still have no idea what he's going to do. My church - RockHarbor - is helping to plant a church in Hollywood. Last night was only the third time they'd met as a larger group, inviting others and pursuing the vision that God has put on their hearts. In recent weeks, the pastor has embraced Broken Hearts Ministry and already formed a close partnership with us. So a few of us joined them at their temporary meeting place last night for their service...to see what God was up to, to join in prayer together for Hollywood and Broken Hearts, and to be a part of the movement in Hollywood.
I simply went as an observer, but found myself as an integral participant in the family of God. To my surprise, not only did David (the pastor) mention Broken Hearts and our partnership, but he had Antquan share about what we do, he has included us on their upcoming prayer events, they allowed us to invite the congregation to pray with all of us afterwards for Broken Hearts and our friends on the streets and opened their building up to us for a few hours; they also brought us up, introduced us, gathered around us to pray for us as a team and as individuals, and finished it off by taking an offering for the ministry.
The fact that I am considered a leader in any sense is still beyond my grasp...but as I sat back and thought about what I was involved in, I realized I was taking part in something new forming in Hollywood. I was taking part in a church plant from my beloved RockHarbor that I'd always thought I couldn't bear to leave. I recall hearing about other plants they were doing or coupels who were leaving to start a church and never had any feeling of calling towards that...and thinking I never would. I'd never be a part of something like that. I'm more of a show-up-to-an-already-successful-church-and-participate-as-I-can type of church-goer. And how could I ever leave RockHarbor? I love that place, and haven't found anything quite like it!
Now, I don't know that I'll actually attend this church when I'm able to move up to Hollywood (whenever that may be), but I very well might...and just being in on the formation of it is pretty wild. From the get-go, I felt a part of things last night. I talked with some of the pastors, met some of the other people getting it started...felt involved and known in a way I never have in a church before (aside from my time at The Hollywood Church).
Then, as worship was happening, David felt led to stop and pray for those who were feeling lonely in this dark, lonely city and needed some encouragement. A few people raised their hands, and I knew I had to pray for them. As I anticipate moving up there soon, I have to expect some loneliness, some discomfort, some "what am I doing here?!" days...leaving the familiar behind to embrace God's calling. And so their pain spoke to me, even though I haven't yet felt it.
I just sort of looked for who didn't already have lots of people around them, and found someone with 3-4 people gathered around him. It was Johnny, a man from England who has been working at RockHarbor for some time, pursuing God's calling on his life. A few weeks ago at church, he and his wife had shared about their journey and how - though not 'extraordinary', their story was about just trying to figure out what God had for them as they desired to go out into the community to bring church to those who don't know Him. Their confusion and uncertainty, the quoting of a personally meaningful verse in Isaiah, and their call to those of us at church that night to receive prayer if we felt the same, all gripped my heart. God spoke deeply to my soul that night, and here I was able to pray on behalf of Johnny and Amy for something I knew I'll probably experience in the future. It was a very powerful time, being encourged by their faith, and being able to encourage with deep-rooted sincerity and love for them. All for two people who I've never even met before.
As the service progressed into the message and prayer time, we talked about Acts 5 and the church that people didn't dare join, and yet couldn't stay away from. And we discussed the power of the Holy Spirit, which has been a topic on my mind a lot lately. After David talked, we took some time to reflect on what had spoken to us, and then got into groups to talk about it and pray for each other. I certainly never intended on most of our group's time being spent on me, but as we started a woman said she wanted to tell me something she felt God had put on her heart for me before we continued. It led into my thinking of my own desire for the power of the Spirit, while being somewhat fearful of it, of the unknown. Both she and her husband spoke powerfully into those feelings, prayed with me, and gave me great encouragement. This church is largely based from the Vineyard churches, which are much more charismatic than anything I've grown up with or spent time in. And I approach that hesitantly, but also open to how God may want to use those differences in my life. It was clear that these people are very attune to the spirit, and it seemed that God had a lot to speak to me in that last night. That perhaps that was an answer to many prayers. Even driving home later that night I experienced something new in talking to Him.
Afterward, a few stayed with us at the church and prayed with our BH members for our ministry, our friends, and Hollywood. Having that support for Rachel, who normally prays alone, was amazing. Seeing people who truly understand how critical prayer is and have a desire to pray for their city was amazing. Leaving that evening to hit the streets, I wondered if God had me here (either for a time or for the future) because of my desire to experience more of his Holy Spirit. All night that's what it was about. And besides being odd that I'm involved with a church plant to some degree, very crazy how I keep thinking of Hollywood as my city. I feel just as connected to it as I do to where I currently reside. God just confirmed that feeling throughout the night and that yes, this place is very much a part of my life to come.
Later at Del Taco, we met up with a couple of guys who are creating a new website to promote ministries, raise awareness, help take donations, etc. Making getting the word out about God's work viral. They had come to videotape some of what we do, the people we meet, etc, for a promo video for us and for their site. Two guys who took an entire night out to lose sleep, and do something for us that we never asked of them. I'd never even met them before, except through email getting help for our website. They walked the streets with us all night, and I felt completely comfortable having them there and enjoyed the brief time I had getting to talk with them.
All night I had examples around me of Christians who are really following Christ and living the life. Who are caring for others (especially their own family of God), giving of themselves in big and what may seem like small ways, but huge to us, and actually making us all feel like family. Not just people who believe the same things are call each other family because that's what you're supposed to do. All of us were being the church - to each other, to a city of dying people...and to be a part of that, and the quiet but thunderous voice of the Holy Spirit is just crazy...especially because it's so fun and exhilarating and fulfilling. I'm telling you, being a Christian is NOT boring. And I'm only part way into the journey, just scratching the surface...
Saturday, October 17, 2009
A Not-So-Typical Vacation
Still jet-lagged from an excursion to Hong Kong, I want to recount and share some of my more important memories while they're still fresh in my mind. I went to visit my friend Krista who just moved there, as well as experience Asia, something I've been longing to do for a while. But I also went to experience God through overseas ministry. It wasn't a missions trip, per se, but that was a large intent in my travel.
I was able to taste many good (and strange) foods, see beautiful scenery and very crowded streets, meet people from around the world and spend quality time with friends. But what was the most memorable and valuable part of my trip were the nights we spent telling people about Jesus, praying for them, and observing the workings of the world of sex trafficking.
One night we headed down to SoHo, (South of Hollywood Street) where locals and foreigners alike congregate in the evenings for drinks at local bars, restaurants and British pubs. We met some guys our age who we talked to about our beliefs (who eventually left obviously laughing at us and wanting to find some more enticing women :)), some older Christian Filipino men who play in a band at a restaurant, and a Muslim man who had never heard about Jesus. That conversation was the most exciting, seeing him discover things about the bible (which he'd never seen) and about Jesus (who he'd barely heard of) and say that he believed what we were saying. The language barrier made it difficult to know if he really understood, but he agreed to join us for church that weekend. Unfortunately he didn't end up showing, but we'll keep praying that Krista sees him again and that God used that opportunity to open his eyes.
Krista is also starting a ministry to prostitutes through her church in Hong Kong (maybe Broken Hearts - HK?!) and we got to start the praying and laying the ground work together. Before we went I did a little research one afternoon while I was waiting for her to get off of work, where I read about the abundant female Filipino prostitutes working on the streets of Wan Chai, Hong Kong's red light district. It is fairly well-known information (since I found it in about 2 seconds on Google) that many of them are victims of sex trafficking. They're told they can come to Hong Kong for more opportunity and better work, they will just have a debt to pay back to the people who offer to bring them over. Then they get stuck working in these bars as dancers and prostitutes, forced to work there to 'pay off their debt'. But really, the debt is so large that it can't really be paid off (this is the typical method of sex trafficking in general, not just with these particular women).
I've read, heard, studied a decent amount about sex trafficking and prostitution, but it almost surprised me how 'by the book' things were when we stopped and observed. (I do ministry with prostitutes in Hollywood, but most of them are men and are there by their own choice, so the culture is much different).
The first night there we spent most of our time prayer walking, treading on unfamiliar ground and wanting to be led by God before jumping in. We quickly found several jam-packed streets laden with neon signs advertising dancers, strip clubs, bars, girls. But the signs were hardly necessary as the young girls sitting outside of these places in very little clothing was advertisement enough.
As we passed by one restaurant and bar (not a strip club or anything like that), we saw a woman sitting off to the side of the building in the shadows, not looking very well. We decided to approach her to ask if we could pray for anything. She didn't understand us very well, but as we began to repeat the question, a man working at the restaurant quickly interrupted to ask what we were doing and if he could help. We told him we just wanted to pray for her and he eventually left. She didn't understand much and said she didn't need prayer, so we left and were once again asked by a girl working there if she could help. It was a very interesting interaction, because this was not an obvious place that prostitutes would work, but they way they hovered over this woman and acted so protectively, it seemed she was definitely being watched.
Another general aspect of this business is that the women are going to have someone - either a man or a madame who's in charge - watching them and protecting their source of income. This interaction seemed to fit the bill, even as the average passerby would never notice anything out of the ordinary.
We proceeded past many other bars and clubs, filled and surrounded by men who looked at us with the same glances they would likely cast towards girls in the clubs. They had one thing on the mind and it was hard to avoid their perverse eyes and approaches. It's absolutely disgusting to see the amount of men down there going into clubs, approaching girls on the street, getting off of work and heading there in their suits, on vacation cheating on their wives and girlfriends...If it were not for the demand, there would be no business in sex trafficking. But it's a filthy truth of this fallen world that there's so high a demand, the problem will probably never go away.
As we neared the end of our night down there, praying while our eyes filled with tears, we saw another woman on the street who we couldn't tell if she was working or not. She was alone, not by a club, so we decided to talk to her to find out more. She was very friendly and spoke English, so we chatted for a while. She was meeting up with friends and later on told us about one of her friends that was being forced to prostitute to pay off her debt. She didn't seem all too concerned with it, like it was just a fact of life and something that had to be done in order to have a better life than in the Philippines. She told us that she worked at a company in Hong Kong and is a Christian, more by religion than relationship by the sound of it. Krista was able to give her the name of her church and number so that the woman could come sometime, and the conversation ended well as she went to meet her friends.
Our first night out we got a good taste of what to expect and a bit of what the culture is like down there, and left hungry for more because it was clear as daylight that this street seriously needs some Jesus. So for the sake of keeping this blog from getting to long, I'll go into our second night in another blog entry.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Sowing in tears, reaping with joy
Broken Hearts often refers to our ministry (and often our lives in general) as being a 'link in the chain'. For any Christian, at various times in non-believers lives, we plant seeds, we water, we sow...but God ultimately gives the increase in his way, his time, and in his power. Getting to be a part of any step in the process is a privilege...but I'd say few of us enjoy the sowing as much as we do the reaping. The reaping is exciting and faith-building and 'glamorous'. Being a link in the chain of that process just doesn't have the same hype or recognition. It's not always clear that God's at work, that our obedience to share Him is even doing anything.
It can be downright discouraging. If people ask about your ministry and you can name the number of people on one hand who've come to know Christ in several years, it seems to leave an unpleasant taste in the mouth of the person asking. When donors give to an organization, they aren't particularly inspired to give to a ministry who can't show numbers of lives changed or quantify impact.
More than once (or twice... or ten times), I've asked "what am I doing? What are we doing out here?" We see people take big steps towards change or towards Jesus, and then see them relapse into their old lifestyle...and it all feels pointless. But God will often do something major after those occurrences that leave me humbled and pretty embarrassed when I realize he was at work the whole time - I just couldn't see...and I was questioning him and his sovereignty!
God knows what he's doing, and if he wants us to be the middle man in the process of a man or woman coming to know him, then that's up to him. We just have to be faithful. But when we actually get to see someone through the process and see the end result...well, words can hardly describe how exciting that is! In fact, because we don't get this opportunity too often, when it happens it's almost hard to believe. Seeing someone change so drastically is nothing short of a miracle.
Ok...that was a long intro to the real story behind those thoughts that arose in my mind today. I went up to Hollywood today to attend church with Antquan and our friend 'Ravi' (which is another story for another time, but he's one who's being discipled daily and getting his life on track and quite the encouragement to me as well as our team). 'Jake' had planned on coming to church, but everyone in their rehab program had been put on restriction and he was unable to leave. So instead I went to visit him after church.
I've only talked to him/seen him a handful of times since he entered rehab. But each conversation astounds me. Especially when I think back to the day I first met him. In fact, as we chatted today in the outside patio/garden area of the home, he referred to that day saying, "I was drawn to you that first day we met. There was something compelling about you guys. And luckily I was still sensitive enough to that..I was hard on the outside, but I was still soft inside." The context of that was that God had saved him before he'd gone too far down the path of drug addiction and prostitution, and his background in the church made him curious and sensitive to God's spirit working through us.
The rest of the conversation was about his deepening relationship with God, his prayer life, about his past and family history that had brought him to the place of drug-dependence; tears over the pain that he was learning to deal with. He said he's starting to tear down his walls and become softer and more real, and that the guys in the house are seeing him change. He said after talking with me on the phone the other day something had changed and he'd started to acknowledge some of his issues. He noted that he's the only person in the house not taking meds and attributes it to his relationship with God which is giving him peace and allowing him to heal and deal with those issues rather than medicate them. And that he hopes the guys will see that difference in him and want to know about it. He talked about God having a plan for him, pondered about doing ministry in some way again one day, and about the opportunity to try everything the world has to offer which has brought him back around to realizing that none of it compares to God.
And that's all just a portion of our recent conversations. The words that come out of his mouth with no prompting are amazing; his vulnerability and willingness to get help are inspiring, and I'm getting to see God's work first hand...changing a man day-to-day for His glory.
He even told me that no one in the program is allowed to engage in any sexual behavior, either, and so they're all required to practice celibacy and restraint while living in a gay community. At first I was slightly disappointed about the fact that he was entering a gay/transgender rehab program (and there are still issues to be concerned about with that, of course), but never realized how even that might be a blessing for him. He's required to function there like God would require of him in normal life. If he has homosexual desires, God will either change him or help him to refrain from those desires as he's sanctified. And in a secular, gay rehab, he's practicing how he'll have to live when he gets out.
The sweet, thoughtful, focused young man is much different from the tweaked-out, hardened individual whose apathy and self-destruction once brought me to that angry, question-asking place of "What are we doing, God?! What are YOU doing?!"
Apparently God knew what he was doing. And graciously allows me to still be a part of it...while changing me in this process as well. :)
"When the Lord brought back the captive ones of Zion, we were like those who dream.
Then our mouth was filled with laughter and our otngue with joyful shouting; then they said among the nations,
"The Lord has done great things for them."
the Lord has done great things for us; we are glad.
Restore our captivity, O Lord, as the stream in the south.
Those who sow in tears shall reap with joyful shouting.
He who goes to and fro weeping, carrying his bag of seed shall indeed come again with a shout of joy, bringing his sheaves with him." ~ Psalm 126
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Community
"Community" is a trendy Christian buzz word right now. Luckily, this - and other hot topics like social justice - are great trends in my mind, because it feels like we're getting more serious about actually reading what the bible commands and then looking at ourselves and our churches to see how well we're obeying. Just so long as we don't get so caught up in the ideas that we forget the bigger purpose behind them of making Christ known.
I think community has become a relevant topic to me because I see more and more how important it is - and how amazing it can be. Especially for an introvert who is not inclined towards living life in community. But what I'm referring to is not just small groups from church, or hanging out over coffee or a meal with friends - specifically I mean the type of community that is on mission together. The kind that exists when you all share a similar mindset, passion, purpose and calling. When that community spurs one another onto good deeds and lifts each other up when the vision and passion get lost in weariness or frustration.
Generally as Christians we connect well with other Christians, just as we do with people who enjoy playing the same sports that we do, or have the same political views or work in the same field. If we share a strong passion or belief about something important in our lives, we tend to form immediate bonds that are harder to forge with others outside of that 'circle'. But even more so, I am finding that the people I quickly and easily connect with - almost regardless of personality or background - are those who share a passion for serving the 'least of these' and are actually doing something with that passion. The more meaningful sharing and living my faith becomes to me, the more I care about the poor and needy out in the world who don't know the love of Jesus. So when I meet people with the same heart who are probably already doing way more than me, it's an enormous encouragement. I feel an instant bond and understanding when we talk. We get what each other is saying without having to say too much.
To drill down more, I've seen this truth play out in ministry. I've made some incredibly close friends doing Broken Hearts ministry in Hollywood. And even those I'm not as close with, I truly care about and relate to uniquely because we're out there working together for God and because of God. There is a pretty big range of personalities, some of which I wouldn't typically be drawn to or that can even rub me the wrong way (and me them, no doubt). But I've found that when there's tension and we work to get past it for the sake of our calling, I just love them that much more. And it never feels terribly hard to get past it because I have more patience and grace when I know their heart for serving God.
When I get frustrated or feel tired or overwhelmed with serving, I can look at these people and see that they're still going and it helps to keep me focused and encouraged. Hopefully I'm able to do the same for them. Hopefully we can all carry each other when things get tough. I think that's one of the biggest reasons for, and blessings of, community. To never grow tired of doing good; to run the race and fight the good fight.
I was amazed to see how powerful that bond is this week. I had a few days - and one in particular - that I was just tired of people. I didn't want to be around anyone, I just wanted to be quiet and be alone with God. No small talk, no long discussions, no mindless chatter or need to be social. I just wanted to be still and quiet and have some time to think. One of those fell on the night of prayer and worship that our church does, which my small group attends together. I wasn't looking forward to all of the people, but I also knew I'd have some good alone time there with God.
When the evening started, I sat quietly with my small group, my eyes closed to dwell on God and block out everything else. As worship continued I noticed two of my friends from ministry, one of them who rarely attends our church because he lives further away. I made a beeline to go say hi to them, and was actually a little surprised how excited I was to see them and greet them with hugs. I decided to stay with them for a bit, realizing we never really get the opportunity to worship in this way together. And standing there between them, it was like my annoyance with people and need to be secluded went away. While I was with my fellow laborers, I was totally content and excited to worship God in that micro-community.
The following night was Broken Hearts. After an hour of prayer together beforehand on behalf of Hollywood, our friends there, and each other, I ended up in a conversation with Jorge, one of the guys I'd seen at church the night before. He began sharing what he'd been thinking about and learning from reading scripture, and his hopes to move to Hollywood soon. Up until now, with the exception of our ministry leaders, I've felt alone in my desire to move to Hollywood to grow community there with the people we serve. As he shared his desire to follow Christ, to die to himself and his desires to make Christ known, and his wishes to live in the area where he's already making a huge impact, I resonated with much of what he said and felt. I couldn't help but smile as I listened and my heart began to soar. Knowing that our hearts are in a similar place and we both want to build the community in Hollywood gave me great joy and encouragement. Because knowing that many of us are working towards the same goal with similar vision means that more people can hear about Christ. That maybe more hope and salvation can come to Hollywood. When you're just a few people, and you walk or drive down those streets, it can be overwhelming how much work there seems to be done. But at the same time, it's exciting to think about the opportunity - when you cast your net in a big lake, with lots of hands to pull it in, the chances of catching something are much better.
I think this is what 'family of Christ' is really supposed to mean.
"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching." - Heb. 10:23-25
I think community has become a relevant topic to me because I see more and more how important it is - and how amazing it can be. Especially for an introvert who is not inclined towards living life in community. But what I'm referring to is not just small groups from church, or hanging out over coffee or a meal with friends - specifically I mean the type of community that is on mission together. The kind that exists when you all share a similar mindset, passion, purpose and calling. When that community spurs one another onto good deeds and lifts each other up when the vision and passion get lost in weariness or frustration.
Generally as Christians we connect well with other Christians, just as we do with people who enjoy playing the same sports that we do, or have the same political views or work in the same field. If we share a strong passion or belief about something important in our lives, we tend to form immediate bonds that are harder to forge with others outside of that 'circle'. But even more so, I am finding that the people I quickly and easily connect with - almost regardless of personality or background - are those who share a passion for serving the 'least of these' and are actually doing something with that passion. The more meaningful sharing and living my faith becomes to me, the more I care about the poor and needy out in the world who don't know the love of Jesus. So when I meet people with the same heart who are probably already doing way more than me, it's an enormous encouragement. I feel an instant bond and understanding when we talk. We get what each other is saying without having to say too much.
To drill down more, I've seen this truth play out in ministry. I've made some incredibly close friends doing Broken Hearts ministry in Hollywood. And even those I'm not as close with, I truly care about and relate to uniquely because we're out there working together for God and because of God. There is a pretty big range of personalities, some of which I wouldn't typically be drawn to or that can even rub me the wrong way (and me them, no doubt). But I've found that when there's tension and we work to get past it for the sake of our calling, I just love them that much more. And it never feels terribly hard to get past it because I have more patience and grace when I know their heart for serving God.
When I get frustrated or feel tired or overwhelmed with serving, I can look at these people and see that they're still going and it helps to keep me focused and encouraged. Hopefully I'm able to do the same for them. Hopefully we can all carry each other when things get tough. I think that's one of the biggest reasons for, and blessings of, community. To never grow tired of doing good; to run the race and fight the good fight.
I was amazed to see how powerful that bond is this week. I had a few days - and one in particular - that I was just tired of people. I didn't want to be around anyone, I just wanted to be quiet and be alone with God. No small talk, no long discussions, no mindless chatter or need to be social. I just wanted to be still and quiet and have some time to think. One of those fell on the night of prayer and worship that our church does, which my small group attends together. I wasn't looking forward to all of the people, but I also knew I'd have some good alone time there with God.
When the evening started, I sat quietly with my small group, my eyes closed to dwell on God and block out everything else. As worship continued I noticed two of my friends from ministry, one of them who rarely attends our church because he lives further away. I made a beeline to go say hi to them, and was actually a little surprised how excited I was to see them and greet them with hugs. I decided to stay with them for a bit, realizing we never really get the opportunity to worship in this way together. And standing there between them, it was like my annoyance with people and need to be secluded went away. While I was with my fellow laborers, I was totally content and excited to worship God in that micro-community.
The following night was Broken Hearts. After an hour of prayer together beforehand on behalf of Hollywood, our friends there, and each other, I ended up in a conversation with Jorge, one of the guys I'd seen at church the night before. He began sharing what he'd been thinking about and learning from reading scripture, and his hopes to move to Hollywood soon. Up until now, with the exception of our ministry leaders, I've felt alone in my desire to move to Hollywood to grow community there with the people we serve. As he shared his desire to follow Christ, to die to himself and his desires to make Christ known, and his wishes to live in the area where he's already making a huge impact, I resonated with much of what he said and felt. I couldn't help but smile as I listened and my heart began to soar. Knowing that our hearts are in a similar place and we both want to build the community in Hollywood gave me great joy and encouragement. Because knowing that many of us are working towards the same goal with similar vision means that more people can hear about Christ. That maybe more hope and salvation can come to Hollywood. When you're just a few people, and you walk or drive down those streets, it can be overwhelming how much work there seems to be done. But at the same time, it's exciting to think about the opportunity - when you cast your net in a big lake, with lots of hands to pull it in, the chances of catching something are much better.
I think this is what 'family of Christ' is really supposed to mean.
"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching." - Heb. 10:23-25
Sunday, August 2, 2009
If I___but have not love, I am nothing
I'll just start off acknowledging that this will not be my most brilliant post to-date. No original ideas or thought here. Simply pictures of an obvious truth that I think can be forgotten when sharing Christ. And pictures always make things much clearer and prove concepts very well, as they did for me this weekend.
Broken Hearts (the ministry I'm a part of) classifies itself as a 'relational evangelism ministry'. Meaning, we build relationships in order to share the gospel. We each have our unique ways of doing this - some are more bold and the first thing out of their mouth is about the gospel. Others spend weeks getting to know someone without saying a whole lot that's blatantly religious. But we all value being there every week to get to know people and tell them about Christ as we grow friendships and build trust in the community.
I'm fond of phrases like 'people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care' and 'preach the gospel at all times and when necessary use words' (which, just to clarify, is probably more often than not. Never giving a reason for the hope you have will not make disciples. And if people aren't asking, maybe we're not preaching the gospel with our actions). But it's just another concept that I assume in my head, thinking those phrases are true, but can't think of tons of examples to back them up, besides the crazy people on street corners with signs and microphones and seeing how people completely ignore them.
This week at Broken Hearts gave some proof to those concepts. We did an Exposure Night, where we invite anyone out who's interested in the ministry to join us and see what it's all about. A few of the people who came...well...didn't exactly have the most tact when sharing. Some common sense about people seemed to be lacking, and the concept of showing someone you care was absent. Now...some people can jump into a full-blown gospel presentation and have people crying and giving their lives to Jesus by the end without ever really knowing the person. Those are some seriously gifted individuals. But I haven't seen many pull that off well, and it didn't work that way this week. If I hadn't been so concerned with the relationships I'd been building, I would have found it just funny to see this all play out (ok, I still found it mildly funny).
There were 2 people in particular whose demeanor I saw completely change depending on who they were talking to. I had picked up conversation with a guy I've known for a few weeks, but when one of our visitors entered the conversation and began asking him if he knew about Jesus and going off with all the Christianese phrases, 'Rick' turned cold. He stopped looking this person in the eye, eyes kind of glazed over and stopped responding. And when asked a question, even if Rick didn't answer, this person just kept on going with what he wanted to say. Rick was clearly annoyed and eventually I stepped back in and tried to salvage the conversation.
I've talked with Rick a lot, as well as some others on our team have, and he loves talking to us and coming to bible study; he asked to take a bible home last week and continues to show interest. But when talking to this other person, he became unfriendly, disinterested, and annoyed. A few minutes of easing the tension and he warmed up again and said he'd like to go to church with me if I came to take him that Sunday.
A few minutes later I overheard this same guy talking to a girl standing at the bus stop where we were hanging out. She was staring straight ahead, focusing on the street in front of her and saying nothing to him. But he kept talking and talking. Yes, he was speaking truth and saying gospel messages, but she was entirely unresponsive and apparently turned off. It was stressing me out too much that I had to interrupt. I don't remember how, but I basically made my way into the conversation and within a few minutes, she was chatting with me, still not making much eye contact, but was chatting happily and laughing and answering my questions about herself. She told me that she'd met Michelle (another girl in BH) a few weeks before and was curious if she was there this evening. And by the end of the conversation, she joined us for bible study even though she was worried about missing her ride home. She borrowed my phone and called her ride so she could work out a meeting place and walked with us to find Michelle and say hi and then over to bible study with all of us.
My opinion is that some people may do this 'bold gospel sharing' and get so excited that they got to 'share' and attribute any rejection or lack of response to being hated by the world, or persecuted. And in some instances that's true. People don't always like the gospel message and we'll be hated at times for sharing it. It's also easy to swing the other way and be so relational and full of 'grace' that we never really get to the important stuff and people think Christians are just like everyone else, which may be equally dangerous. However these seemed to be some clear instances that, by just getting to know some people and showing interest in their lives, they're much more inclined to listen to you, care about what you have to say, and be willing to learn - or re-learn what they've rejected - as a result of someone caring. Especially in a place like Hollywood - they already have enough noise and people talking at them and so few people actually listening that they don't need one more voice telling them what to do.
No credit to me, but only to the method of being relational and caring, I could see clear changes in demeanor and openness when the conversation was relaxed and two-way, rather than being preached at. And both of these conversations ended with accepted invitations to church. They didn't seem to be rejecting the religious topics, just the method of the message.
Then today I was at The Hollywood Church ( http://www.thehollywoodchurch.com/) , because I had gone up to take 'Rick' (who didn't actually show up, but oh well). I recommend people to this church all the time, but haven't actually been before. I just know they have a passionate heart for the city and accept the people that some churches might make feel uncomfortable. I haven't experienced that many churches, but I feel like most of them don't look as much like the early church as we should. I think the Hollywood Church is doing a good job with this - living in Hollywood and focused on reaching those around them, welcoming all, participating with BH and helping us out, breaking bread together after church and not so massive that most people know each other within this church family.
I stuck around for lunch after the service and met a guy who was sitting next to me and we began talking about Broken Hearts. He expressed interest in coming, and talked about someone he'd talked to recently in the city who he'd had the opportunity to minister to. And near the end of the conversation (which included Bryan, one of the guys we've been discipling through BH), he offered his name and number to Bryan in case he ever wanted to hang out. Antquan and I had just been talking to another guy at church about getting Bryan more involved so he could meet more guys. And without knowing any of that or ever having met Bryan before, he just picked up on the shyness from Bryan and gave him his name and number let him know they could hang out anytime.
I don't remember what it was later as I was driving home that made me think this, but something made me realize, "I would listen to that guy. I would hear out his advice or wisdom. I would value what he had to say." I had only talked to him for 10 minutes or less. But I had seen several instances of his faith expressing itself in works and in love. I hardly knew anything about him, except that he'd tried to get to know us, and wanted to give of himself and his time for other people. And that made me think about others at the church who I've seen or heard of actually living out their faith and loving Hollywood. I'd pay attention to things they had to say. Heck, I already want to know more about their church and the people who make it up, because I see they love God and love people.
In general, I realize that I take opinions and wisdom from people who live what they believe, who don't pre-judge, who listen, who seek to understand and not just assume. Even if it's someone I know well, if I can tell they're not trying to understand me or my situatoin before they prescribe a solution, I take their advice very lightly unless it's confirmed by others I might trust more.
And now it's just that much clearer to me that it probably works similarly in all situations. If I don't show that I love a person, can I successfully share the hope that I have? Or am I just a noisy gong or clanging symbol?
Broken Hearts (the ministry I'm a part of) classifies itself as a 'relational evangelism ministry'. Meaning, we build relationships in order to share the gospel. We each have our unique ways of doing this - some are more bold and the first thing out of their mouth is about the gospel. Others spend weeks getting to know someone without saying a whole lot that's blatantly religious. But we all value being there every week to get to know people and tell them about Christ as we grow friendships and build trust in the community.
I'm fond of phrases like 'people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care' and 'preach the gospel at all times and when necessary use words' (which, just to clarify, is probably more often than not. Never giving a reason for the hope you have will not make disciples. And if people aren't asking, maybe we're not preaching the gospel with our actions). But it's just another concept that I assume in my head, thinking those phrases are true, but can't think of tons of examples to back them up, besides the crazy people on street corners with signs and microphones and seeing how people completely ignore them.
This week at Broken Hearts gave some proof to those concepts. We did an Exposure Night, where we invite anyone out who's interested in the ministry to join us and see what it's all about. A few of the people who came...well...didn't exactly have the most tact when sharing. Some common sense about people seemed to be lacking, and the concept of showing someone you care was absent. Now...some people can jump into a full-blown gospel presentation and have people crying and giving their lives to Jesus by the end without ever really knowing the person. Those are some seriously gifted individuals. But I haven't seen many pull that off well, and it didn't work that way this week. If I hadn't been so concerned with the relationships I'd been building, I would have found it just funny to see this all play out (ok, I still found it mildly funny).
There were 2 people in particular whose demeanor I saw completely change depending on who they were talking to. I had picked up conversation with a guy I've known for a few weeks, but when one of our visitors entered the conversation and began asking him if he knew about Jesus and going off with all the Christianese phrases, 'Rick' turned cold. He stopped looking this person in the eye, eyes kind of glazed over and stopped responding. And when asked a question, even if Rick didn't answer, this person just kept on going with what he wanted to say. Rick was clearly annoyed and eventually I stepped back in and tried to salvage the conversation.
I've talked with Rick a lot, as well as some others on our team have, and he loves talking to us and coming to bible study; he asked to take a bible home last week and continues to show interest. But when talking to this other person, he became unfriendly, disinterested, and annoyed. A few minutes of easing the tension and he warmed up again and said he'd like to go to church with me if I came to take him that Sunday.
A few minutes later I overheard this same guy talking to a girl standing at the bus stop where we were hanging out. She was staring straight ahead, focusing on the street in front of her and saying nothing to him. But he kept talking and talking. Yes, he was speaking truth and saying gospel messages, but she was entirely unresponsive and apparently turned off. It was stressing me out too much that I had to interrupt. I don't remember how, but I basically made my way into the conversation and within a few minutes, she was chatting with me, still not making much eye contact, but was chatting happily and laughing and answering my questions about herself. She told me that she'd met Michelle (another girl in BH) a few weeks before and was curious if she was there this evening. And by the end of the conversation, she joined us for bible study even though she was worried about missing her ride home. She borrowed my phone and called her ride so she could work out a meeting place and walked with us to find Michelle and say hi and then over to bible study with all of us.
My opinion is that some people may do this 'bold gospel sharing' and get so excited that they got to 'share' and attribute any rejection or lack of response to being hated by the world, or persecuted. And in some instances that's true. People don't always like the gospel message and we'll be hated at times for sharing it. It's also easy to swing the other way and be so relational and full of 'grace' that we never really get to the important stuff and people think Christians are just like everyone else, which may be equally dangerous. However these seemed to be some clear instances that, by just getting to know some people and showing interest in their lives, they're much more inclined to listen to you, care about what you have to say, and be willing to learn - or re-learn what they've rejected - as a result of someone caring. Especially in a place like Hollywood - they already have enough noise and people talking at them and so few people actually listening that they don't need one more voice telling them what to do.
No credit to me, but only to the method of being relational and caring, I could see clear changes in demeanor and openness when the conversation was relaxed and two-way, rather than being preached at. And both of these conversations ended with accepted invitations to church. They didn't seem to be rejecting the religious topics, just the method of the message.
Then today I was at The Hollywood Church ( http://www.thehollywoodchurch.com/) , because I had gone up to take 'Rick' (who didn't actually show up, but oh well). I recommend people to this church all the time, but haven't actually been before. I just know they have a passionate heart for the city and accept the people that some churches might make feel uncomfortable. I haven't experienced that many churches, but I feel like most of them don't look as much like the early church as we should. I think the Hollywood Church is doing a good job with this - living in Hollywood and focused on reaching those around them, welcoming all, participating with BH and helping us out, breaking bread together after church and not so massive that most people know each other within this church family.
I stuck around for lunch after the service and met a guy who was sitting next to me and we began talking about Broken Hearts. He expressed interest in coming, and talked about someone he'd talked to recently in the city who he'd had the opportunity to minister to. And near the end of the conversation (which included Bryan, one of the guys we've been discipling through BH), he offered his name and number to Bryan in case he ever wanted to hang out. Antquan and I had just been talking to another guy at church about getting Bryan more involved so he could meet more guys. And without knowing any of that or ever having met Bryan before, he just picked up on the shyness from Bryan and gave him his name and number let him know they could hang out anytime.
I don't remember what it was later as I was driving home that made me think this, but something made me realize, "I would listen to that guy. I would hear out his advice or wisdom. I would value what he had to say." I had only talked to him for 10 minutes or less. But I had seen several instances of his faith expressing itself in works and in love. I hardly knew anything about him, except that he'd tried to get to know us, and wanted to give of himself and his time for other people. And that made me think about others at the church who I've seen or heard of actually living out their faith and loving Hollywood. I'd pay attention to things they had to say. Heck, I already want to know more about their church and the people who make it up, because I see they love God and love people.
In general, I realize that I take opinions and wisdom from people who live what they believe, who don't pre-judge, who listen, who seek to understand and not just assume. Even if it's someone I know well, if I can tell they're not trying to understand me or my situatoin before they prescribe a solution, I take their advice very lightly unless it's confirmed by others I might trust more.
And now it's just that much clearer to me that it probably works similarly in all situations. If I don't show that I love a person, can I successfully share the hope that I have? Or am I just a noisy gong or clanging symbol?
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Please Drive with Aloha - Part 2
This is better written than anything I've attempted, so I'm just posting it here with excerpt below.
...I think the truth is most of us are just too busy and can’t see what matters. To be interrupted and be available isn’t in the “schedule.” I can be so busy trying to get somewhere, or get my agenda done that I miss where I am at right now. I miss the opportunity in front of me. As a student, I miss the person who just needs to know they matter. I can plan so much that I have a tendency to plan God right out of my life. For me, I see so much and yet sometimes fail to see anything.... http://www.catalystspace.com/content/print/hypocrite/
...I think the truth is most of us are just too busy and can’t see what matters. To be interrupted and be available isn’t in the “schedule.” I can be so busy trying to get somewhere, or get my agenda done that I miss where I am at right now. I miss the opportunity in front of me. As a student, I miss the person who just needs to know they matter. I can plan so much that I have a tendency to plan God right out of my life. For me, I see so much and yet sometimes fail to see anything.... http://www.catalystspace.com/content/print/hypocrite/
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Working out and Follwing Jesus - Part 4: the Truth of the Matter
I got sucked into working out with the Fitness Manager at my 24 Hour Fitness today. I walked in, stopped at the front desk to have my card scanned as usual, and he stopped to ask what I had planned for my workout that day. Now, they have a pretty friendly staff at my gym, but I kinda had a feeling that he wasn't just asking to be nice. I used to have his job, I know how it works. This is how you sell training.
A few minutes later I'd agreed to let him give me a workout (meaning, convince me how badly I need training from him for an hour, then back it up with a 25 minute workout). But I was feeling lazy and unmotivated that day, and knew I could use the push. I've also been asking God for opportunities to meet people at the gym, at the store, in my neighborhood, etc., to build relationships and reach those who don't yet have a relationship with Jesus. I figured this was an open door, so I took it.
For slightly less than an hour, we talked about my goals, my current workout, my nutrition, etc. I already knew about 90% of what he said, and had preached the same message to others multiple times. I nodded along and agreed with just about everything that came out of his mouth. And I admitted how I knew exactly what I needed to do but often didn't do it.
Finally we worked out for a bit, wearing out my legs and figuring out some of my knee problems. We got along great, had some laughs, and I sweated like crazy. It was a good time. And then of course we sat back down so he could tell me how much training would cost, how he'd like to help me, how we'd work well together, etc. Again, I agreed with all that he said. I was a personal trainer, so of course I know and appreciate the value. In fact, I wouldn't mind having a trainer to push me - if they weren't so dang expensive!
I thanked him for his time, said I'd think about it (terrible thing to hear when you're on his side of the desk), and finished up with some cardio on my own.
Maybe it was my need to people-please and have people like me; or my desire to get more opportunities to talk about God with him (there were some brief ones when we got to the money thing); or maybe the combination of that plus my own guilt of knowing I've been slacking in the gym....but the whole way home and the rest of the night, I went back and forth on the idea of purchasing training. The whole scenario was in my mind and I couldn't get it out...still can't.
As I drove I pondered why this was sticking in my brain so much. Why I felt like I should buy training, when the whole time I was thinking 'oh gosh, don't try to sell me, I'm not buying, leave me alone'. Partially, he was a great guy, not a completely annoying salesman. And he gave me a good workout. Yet he told me nothing revolutionary, and the workout was nothing I couldn't have imagined up on my own if I'd tried. If I essentially knew almost everything he said and showed me, why was I actually feeling a little guilty and wondering if I should buy training? I'm practically immune to salesmen, I can't stand them. I almost never succumb unless I already know I need what they have to sell.
The answer, I concluded, was that even though I already knew everything he said, and knew what I should be doing, he called me out. He pointed out every area that I wasn't doing what I knew what to do and put into words the thoughts I'd been pushing to the side. He brought my weakness to light and exposed my faulty thinking and behavior. It was fine when I knew it, but didn't have to acknowledge it or be accountable to anyone else. I could deceive myself, I could rationalize away my bad decisions. All along I knew where I was making mistakes and deceiving myself. But as soon as someone else saw it and spoke it out loud, it became much more real and weighty.
I thought about going back to the gym every day in the future, aware that I was no longer just another face in the gym. Now there's someone who knows what I'm doing and not doing. It's like he's keeping me accountable just by being there and seeing me. Like I can't hide anymore. There was a moment of temptation to avoid him at the gym and not want him to see me there anymore - to 'runaway' in a sense. That cleared pretty quickly because I'm not that much of a wuss. But next came the clarity that I have to own up to this. Whether it's buying training to fix the problem, or simply admitting to myself that I need to step it up and the committing to discipline and good choices (to 'prove him wrong').
Then I noticed the parallel between my gym experience and physical conundrum, and the spiritual one of telling people about Christ. People hate being told what they're doing is wrong. Often, they run away (happens all the time with ministry in Hollywood. Literally, they run away and book it in the opposite direction of us as soon as we say 'Christian' or 'bible' or 'Jesus'.) And it's frustrating, to tell you the truth. I think "when is anyone ever going to get this? Or accept it? Or acknowledge their brokenness?"
And it made me think that the manager who just spent 1.5 hours with me probably saw a similar picture in front of him. Stubbornness, self-assurance, arrogance even. (which is when I realized I should probably apologize for coming off that way next time we talk!) But inside my mind was reeling after we talked.
Those people we talk to about Christ have probably, at some point in their lives or even on a daily basis, considered their purpose, their existence, their lack of hope, their brokenness. And asked questions and dismissed God and come up with faulty logic and theology. But left unchallenged, they can keep lying to themselves and live a life that contradicts what they really know deep down. When someone calls that out and brings it to life, it shakes them up and makes them uncomfortable because they'll have to face the lies they've been hiding behind and the truth they've been stifling. Some will push it down further and further until they hide it enough to go on living as they've been living - until someone else down the road brings it up again. Others might try to push it away, but will be left with that nagging feeling and finding themselves facing truth and decisions to make about it. And we may never know which they are, because the outward appearance is deceiving.
Maybe these are some of the people that keep hanging out, non-committal and unemotional, but lingering just enough to hear a little bit more truth so they can work through their questions. Maybe they need some time to count the cost, just like I have to with training (of course, it's a little different with the physical because that 'cost' is about me, when really I could use that money for someone else). But to tease out my analogy - I was left counting the cost of doing what I knew I needed to do. Either spending the money to have someone else keep me accountable, or to step up my own training and nutrition to live what I have been believing but not actually living out 100%.
And if a person buys training, they usually don't just jump into that. You have to weigh if it's really worth it. Because if you don't commit, it's a waste. To make it worth it, you truly have to commit and change the way you've been living. And you know that if you commit, it will all be worth it. It's hard work, but you'll get results.
Same with choosing Christ. You don't just jump in lightly to that decision. Because when you do it changes the way you've been living, do live, and will live, forever. You have to commit to something radically different. And according to the bible, being lukewarm about it is not an option. But when you do commit, you know you all of the sacrifices will be worth it.
So oddly enough, my one evening of working out with a trainer at the gym opened my eyes to see a bit more of what it's like for those who are weighing the option of Christ. He's been my only option for most of my life, so I don't always understand. Now I know I need a bit more patience, understanding, and willingness to provide facts and reason and truth over and over. Like the trainers at the gym, I need to live in a way that holds other accountable to the lies they're living, without having to say anything. As a good trainer who practices what he preaches demonstrates through his appearance and physical abilities that the hard work and following the truth gets results -I have to live my own life in a way that proves that the cost is completely worth it.
And eventually, we either all deny the truth and go our own way, or we realize that facing the truth will lead us exactly where we want to be.
A few minutes later I'd agreed to let him give me a workout (meaning, convince me how badly I need training from him for an hour, then back it up with a 25 minute workout). But I was feeling lazy and unmotivated that day, and knew I could use the push. I've also been asking God for opportunities to meet people at the gym, at the store, in my neighborhood, etc., to build relationships and reach those who don't yet have a relationship with Jesus. I figured this was an open door, so I took it.
For slightly less than an hour, we talked about my goals, my current workout, my nutrition, etc. I already knew about 90% of what he said, and had preached the same message to others multiple times. I nodded along and agreed with just about everything that came out of his mouth. And I admitted how I knew exactly what I needed to do but often didn't do it.
Finally we worked out for a bit, wearing out my legs and figuring out some of my knee problems. We got along great, had some laughs, and I sweated like crazy. It was a good time. And then of course we sat back down so he could tell me how much training would cost, how he'd like to help me, how we'd work well together, etc. Again, I agreed with all that he said. I was a personal trainer, so of course I know and appreciate the value. In fact, I wouldn't mind having a trainer to push me - if they weren't so dang expensive!
I thanked him for his time, said I'd think about it (terrible thing to hear when you're on his side of the desk), and finished up with some cardio on my own.
Maybe it was my need to people-please and have people like me; or my desire to get more opportunities to talk about God with him (there were some brief ones when we got to the money thing); or maybe the combination of that plus my own guilt of knowing I've been slacking in the gym....but the whole way home and the rest of the night, I went back and forth on the idea of purchasing training. The whole scenario was in my mind and I couldn't get it out...still can't.
As I drove I pondered why this was sticking in my brain so much. Why I felt like I should buy training, when the whole time I was thinking 'oh gosh, don't try to sell me, I'm not buying, leave me alone'. Partially, he was a great guy, not a completely annoying salesman. And he gave me a good workout. Yet he told me nothing revolutionary, and the workout was nothing I couldn't have imagined up on my own if I'd tried. If I essentially knew almost everything he said and showed me, why was I actually feeling a little guilty and wondering if I should buy training? I'm practically immune to salesmen, I can't stand them. I almost never succumb unless I already know I need what they have to sell.
The answer, I concluded, was that even though I already knew everything he said, and knew what I should be doing, he called me out. He pointed out every area that I wasn't doing what I knew what to do and put into words the thoughts I'd been pushing to the side. He brought my weakness to light and exposed my faulty thinking and behavior. It was fine when I knew it, but didn't have to acknowledge it or be accountable to anyone else. I could deceive myself, I could rationalize away my bad decisions. All along I knew where I was making mistakes and deceiving myself. But as soon as someone else saw it and spoke it out loud, it became much more real and weighty.
I thought about going back to the gym every day in the future, aware that I was no longer just another face in the gym. Now there's someone who knows what I'm doing and not doing. It's like he's keeping me accountable just by being there and seeing me. Like I can't hide anymore. There was a moment of temptation to avoid him at the gym and not want him to see me there anymore - to 'runaway' in a sense. That cleared pretty quickly because I'm not that much of a wuss. But next came the clarity that I have to own up to this. Whether it's buying training to fix the problem, or simply admitting to myself that I need to step it up and the committing to discipline and good choices (to 'prove him wrong').
Then I noticed the parallel between my gym experience and physical conundrum, and the spiritual one of telling people about Christ. People hate being told what they're doing is wrong. Often, they run away (happens all the time with ministry in Hollywood. Literally, they run away and book it in the opposite direction of us as soon as we say 'Christian' or 'bible' or 'Jesus'.) And it's frustrating, to tell you the truth. I think "when is anyone ever going to get this? Or accept it? Or acknowledge their brokenness?"
And it made me think that the manager who just spent 1.5 hours with me probably saw a similar picture in front of him. Stubbornness, self-assurance, arrogance even. (which is when I realized I should probably apologize for coming off that way next time we talk!) But inside my mind was reeling after we talked.
Those people we talk to about Christ have probably, at some point in their lives or even on a daily basis, considered their purpose, their existence, their lack of hope, their brokenness. And asked questions and dismissed God and come up with faulty logic and theology. But left unchallenged, they can keep lying to themselves and live a life that contradicts what they really know deep down. When someone calls that out and brings it to life, it shakes them up and makes them uncomfortable because they'll have to face the lies they've been hiding behind and the truth they've been stifling. Some will push it down further and further until they hide it enough to go on living as they've been living - until someone else down the road brings it up again. Others might try to push it away, but will be left with that nagging feeling and finding themselves facing truth and decisions to make about it. And we may never know which they are, because the outward appearance is deceiving.
Maybe these are some of the people that keep hanging out, non-committal and unemotional, but lingering just enough to hear a little bit more truth so they can work through their questions. Maybe they need some time to count the cost, just like I have to with training (of course, it's a little different with the physical because that 'cost' is about me, when really I could use that money for someone else). But to tease out my analogy - I was left counting the cost of doing what I knew I needed to do. Either spending the money to have someone else keep me accountable, or to step up my own training and nutrition to live what I have been believing but not actually living out 100%.
And if a person buys training, they usually don't just jump into that. You have to weigh if it's really worth it. Because if you don't commit, it's a waste. To make it worth it, you truly have to commit and change the way you've been living. And you know that if you commit, it will all be worth it. It's hard work, but you'll get results.
Same with choosing Christ. You don't just jump in lightly to that decision. Because when you do it changes the way you've been living, do live, and will live, forever. You have to commit to something radically different. And according to the bible, being lukewarm about it is not an option. But when you do commit, you know you all of the sacrifices will be worth it.
So oddly enough, my one evening of working out with a trainer at the gym opened my eyes to see a bit more of what it's like for those who are weighing the option of Christ. He's been my only option for most of my life, so I don't always understand. Now I know I need a bit more patience, understanding, and willingness to provide facts and reason and truth over and over. Like the trainers at the gym, I need to live in a way that holds other accountable to the lies they're living, without having to say anything. As a good trainer who practices what he preaches demonstrates through his appearance and physical abilities that the hard work and following the truth gets results -I have to live my own life in a way that proves that the cost is completely worth it.
And eventually, we either all deny the truth and go our own way, or we realize that facing the truth will lead us exactly where we want to be.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Working out and Follwing Jesus - Part 3: Faith is like a muscle
My roommate and I just got done having a time of listening prayer together. We regularly sit in our living room and share prayer requests and then spend time praying for each other; but today we decided to try just listening together for whatever God might have to say.
I can't say for sure where my mind led me was distinctly from God, or just related to things he'd been teaching me about, but I started pondering what I'd been reading lately, as well as a conversation I'd had just minutes before on the phone with another friend. I was telling him about Francis Chan quoting a professor who had once said, "what in your life right now requires faith?"
As I let the thought roll around in my mind, it struck me that maybe there's not a lot right now in my life that requires faith. I tend to rely on the old faithfuls - like tithing and talking to people on the streets of Hollywood, or asking God to show up in big ways. Things that, at one point, really required a good amount of faith. When I truthfully thought about the question, I realized maybe those areas no longer require faith. I've gotten used to how much money I give away and it's not much of a sacrifice, even as I increase my giving. Because God always provides. And going to Hollywood at midnight isn't scary anymore, I'm used to it and really enjoy it. Yes, every night requires some kind of faith for God to do big things, but not like it used to.
Then it struck me that it fit perfectly with this physical-spiritual relationship I've been writing about. Faith is like a muscle. When you first start lifting weights, your muscles are sore, and your body responds quickly to the load you're demanding of it to lift. It's difficult, it challenges your whole body, and your muscles begin to grow as a result.
But it's fairly common knowledge that after a while of doing a certain routine and working out your muscles the same way, they adapt to whatever load you've been putting on them and your body hits a plateau. Then it's time to increase the reps, or the weight, or the routine so that your body has to readjust and will begin to change once again as you push through the plateau.
Faith seems to be the same for me. When I wrote my first $100 tithe check, it scared the crap out of me. I felt incredibly uncomfortable, but a week or so after I never worried about it again. I always had enough. And after a few months or so of that, I realized it wasn't much of a sacrifice again, and I decided it was time to increase my giving in faith, out of the blessing God had given to me. And so has been the story of my tithing...getting comfortable with giving more than I originally thought I could, and seeing God provide. But it always gets easy and I have to re-challenge myself. Or when I started doing ministry in Hollywood - that was pretty scary, it definitely required faith to get myself down there. Now? Not so much. Trusting God to do big things still requires faith, but I'm not usually in fear of anything that requires me to leap in faith.
So I realized that there's not much in my life requiring faith right now. There's things I anticipate in my future requiring it. And yes, there's some certain moments or decisions that require it (which I sometimes hold back from in fear, or keep a back-up plan just in case God decides not to show up). But I see that my faith has become like a muscle that's adapted to its workout. What once was hard has become easy and even if I like to think I'm working hard and growing, the outward appearance proves me wrong.
It's time to add some weight to my faith, cause it to grow and rebuild, and to see God to even bigger and better things. And I'm scared - oh yes, I'm scared. Because usually growth is painful. Making a muscle grow means that you're actually creating minor tears in the muscle that cause growth has they heal. Faith can be scary and difficult, but the result is always worth the difficulty. Especially because we don't just get a physical reward, but we come to know Christ and see his awesome power more and more each time.
How often to I look back on a workout and think "man, I wish I hadn't worked so hard and tired myself out. I wish my body wasn't getting stronger and healthier and better looking, it wasn't worth the hard work"? Nope. It's always worth it. Same with faith. When have I ever regretted stepping out in faith and trusting Christ and seeing him move? Never. Those are some of the greatest moments of my life. The only moments I regret are the workouts that I 'dilly-dallied' my way through (as my dad would say) and didn't give my all. And the times I could have trusted God but didn't, and as a result never got to see him in all of his might.
What are you doing in your life right now that requires faith?
I can't say for sure where my mind led me was distinctly from God, or just related to things he'd been teaching me about, but I started pondering what I'd been reading lately, as well as a conversation I'd had just minutes before on the phone with another friend. I was telling him about Francis Chan quoting a professor who had once said, "what in your life right now requires faith?"
As I let the thought roll around in my mind, it struck me that maybe there's not a lot right now in my life that requires faith. I tend to rely on the old faithfuls - like tithing and talking to people on the streets of Hollywood, or asking God to show up in big ways. Things that, at one point, really required a good amount of faith. When I truthfully thought about the question, I realized maybe those areas no longer require faith. I've gotten used to how much money I give away and it's not much of a sacrifice, even as I increase my giving. Because God always provides. And going to Hollywood at midnight isn't scary anymore, I'm used to it and really enjoy it. Yes, every night requires some kind of faith for God to do big things, but not like it used to.
Then it struck me that it fit perfectly with this physical-spiritual relationship I've been writing about. Faith is like a muscle. When you first start lifting weights, your muscles are sore, and your body responds quickly to the load you're demanding of it to lift. It's difficult, it challenges your whole body, and your muscles begin to grow as a result.
But it's fairly common knowledge that after a while of doing a certain routine and working out your muscles the same way, they adapt to whatever load you've been putting on them and your body hits a plateau. Then it's time to increase the reps, or the weight, or the routine so that your body has to readjust and will begin to change once again as you push through the plateau.
Faith seems to be the same for me. When I wrote my first $100 tithe check, it scared the crap out of me. I felt incredibly uncomfortable, but a week or so after I never worried about it again. I always had enough. And after a few months or so of that, I realized it wasn't much of a sacrifice again, and I decided it was time to increase my giving in faith, out of the blessing God had given to me. And so has been the story of my tithing...getting comfortable with giving more than I originally thought I could, and seeing God provide. But it always gets easy and I have to re-challenge myself. Or when I started doing ministry in Hollywood - that was pretty scary, it definitely required faith to get myself down there. Now? Not so much. Trusting God to do big things still requires faith, but I'm not usually in fear of anything that requires me to leap in faith.
So I realized that there's not much in my life requiring faith right now. There's things I anticipate in my future requiring it. And yes, there's some certain moments or decisions that require it (which I sometimes hold back from in fear, or keep a back-up plan just in case God decides not to show up). But I see that my faith has become like a muscle that's adapted to its workout. What once was hard has become easy and even if I like to think I'm working hard and growing, the outward appearance proves me wrong.
It's time to add some weight to my faith, cause it to grow and rebuild, and to see God to even bigger and better things. And I'm scared - oh yes, I'm scared. Because usually growth is painful. Making a muscle grow means that you're actually creating minor tears in the muscle that cause growth has they heal. Faith can be scary and difficult, but the result is always worth the difficulty. Especially because we don't just get a physical reward, but we come to know Christ and see his awesome power more and more each time.
How often to I look back on a workout and think "man, I wish I hadn't worked so hard and tired myself out. I wish my body wasn't getting stronger and healthier and better looking, it wasn't worth the hard work"? Nope. It's always worth it. Same with faith. When have I ever regretted stepping out in faith and trusting Christ and seeing him move? Never. Those are some of the greatest moments of my life. The only moments I regret are the workouts that I 'dilly-dallied' my way through (as my dad would say) and didn't give my all. And the times I could have trusted God but didn't, and as a result never got to see him in all of his might.
What are you doing in your life right now that requires faith?
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Please Drive with Aloha
I returned from Hawaii this past weekend, and it appears I came back with a sickness. Nope, not the cold that one of my traveling companions brought back. Or some string of the swine flu that's apparently hit Hawaii. This is something more along the lines of Aloha fever, or Oahu disorder perhaps. The kind of sickness that gets deep into peoples bones, affecting their brains and functionality. The kind that makes an entire state find a 35 mph speed limit on a highway reasonable. Or causes them to arrive places, "in a Hawaiian minute" (really late); propels them to 'drive with Aloha' (no middle fingers or horns or cutting each other off), and call people they barely know 'Ohana'.
It's a slower pace of life there...as are many places outside of California and New York and much of America. People aren't in a rush - both locals and the many tourists who are simply there to enjoy the beauty around them and spend time with friends or family.
That was one of the things I was looking forward to most about my trip, and which I still see as one of the best parts; we didn't have any major agendas, no big tasks to attend to. We woke up each morning with a vague idea of where our feet (and convertible Jeep) would take us, but we rarely set an alarm or rushed to get anywhere. We spent hours sitting or laying on the beach, playing in the water, taking pictures and chatting at sunset, talking with God over Kona coffee in the early morning, and taking leisurely meals, walks and hikes. 'Community' is another way of summing up what we experienced in Oahu. And what you're really able to experience more of when you're not in a rush.
As I got to enjoy more of this...driving slowly down the highways or stopping whenever we saw something pretty to take pictures of, I thought about life back in California. Work, responsibilities, task lists, packed rush hour traffic, strangers who never say 'hello', speeding drivers, speeding grocery shoppers, agitated high-heeled speed-walking execs on their cell phones, and everything else that says 'Hurry! Go! Get more done! Your worth depends on it!' flashed in my mind and made me cringe. And then just made me feel bad for everyone still stuck in that lifestyle, and it suddenly appeared so foolish to me. Even if I already knew it was foolish, I realized how much worth I put in being busy and productive. I'll even try to look busy if I'm not, so others think I'm busy and important and accomplishing much. Sad, really.
But why is busyness so important? What does getting more done really accomplish? I guess it makes us feel good about ourselves. Or shields us from social or emotional confrontation we don't want to deal with. Or provides an excuse from doing the things that truly matter that we'd rather avoid. Of course there are many more reasons, but I know those are some of my biggest reasons for being busy. Our culture values it and so I place value and worth in what I'm doing and accomplishing. And I will admit that I perpetuate the problem - I judge people who aren't very busy or productive. You just sat around and watched TV today? You didn't do anything but hang out with friends? You're not exhausted from over-committing? What's wrong with you?
Granted, some of that is my personality, or some of it is truly over-committing to things I love doing and care about. Yet I realized how often I'll leave a party or social event early for reasons as lame as being a little tired, or just wanting alone time, or being uncomfortable with making slightly awkward conversation with people I don't know as well. I get so wrapped up in good things I need to get done that I ignore needs of people around me. Truth be told, sometimes accomplishing tasks is much easier than sitting down to listen to a friend talk about their problems.
However, community is an idea God has been laying more and more on my heart. How else do you get to share your faith besides getting to know people? How am I supposed to display Christ to my neighbors if I never allow space to be with them? How do I get into deep conversations if I'm always rushing to the next thing?
When we go to do ministry in Hollywood, we go with nothing but time. Time to hang out and get to know people. And when we have a building, it's going to be a place that fosters community and creates safe space for people to hang out and find out about Jesus in a comfortable environment that they actually want to be in. Hopefully many of us will be able to move there and become part of the community. If I were to live my same busy, rushed life there, I'd do no good. So, am I doing any good where I'm at?
In Hawaii I got to know my friends much better. I had time to just be with them and enjoy them and find fun things to do together. When I got back I listened to the sermon I'd missed at church, and he mentioned how people in the mid-west move slower. He said something like, "In California it's like we're rushing to go nowhere. In the mid-west, they know they're going nowhere, so they take their time". Funny comment, but true. One of my friends had said something very similar in Hawaii. Yet I still worry that I'll be judged for not doing enough, for having time to do nothing but sit around with people. Unless of course, I make it clear that I'm 'doing ministry'...then it's accepted.
So what am I rushing to? When I stand before God with my completed task list, will he be proud? Or say, "great. but did you love people? did you love me? did you read my word and take the time to respond?"
When I got back from vacation, I found myself driving a little bit slower, having more patience with slow store clerks or people walking in front of me or bad drivers. I stuck around at social gatherings just a little longer than I normally would, realizing I had nothing important to get home to. And when I truly had something I had to rush to, I felt pretty bad that I couldn't stick around longer with whoever I was with to dig more into their lives. Oddly, it kind of looked like love. I stopped focusing on how fast I could get to the next thing, and suddenly I had plenty of patience and compassion for others, even a desire to converse with them instead of just hurrying on.
I'm liking this so far, and plan to keep trying to incorporate some slowness into my life. There are still plenty of distractions in my downtime (such as the internet ...and blogging :))... so I don't quite have it down yet. But ultimately this is what I want my life to be about - someone who takes time for people, to hear and listen to them, be there for them, allow for conversations that lead to Christ. Maybe even do it so much that people wonder, "why is this girl like this? why does she spend so much time caring about me?" and hopefully cause them to wonder about God.
And if God leads me to serve the poor and needy in Hawaii, well, I guess that's just a sacrifice I'll have to make ;)
It's a slower pace of life there...as are many places outside of California and New York and much of America. People aren't in a rush - both locals and the many tourists who are simply there to enjoy the beauty around them and spend time with friends or family.
That was one of the things I was looking forward to most about my trip, and which I still see as one of the best parts; we didn't have any major agendas, no big tasks to attend to. We woke up each morning with a vague idea of where our feet (and convertible Jeep) would take us, but we rarely set an alarm or rushed to get anywhere. We spent hours sitting or laying on the beach, playing in the water, taking pictures and chatting at sunset, talking with God over Kona coffee in the early morning, and taking leisurely meals, walks and hikes. 'Community' is another way of summing up what we experienced in Oahu. And what you're really able to experience more of when you're not in a rush.
As I got to enjoy more of this...driving slowly down the highways or stopping whenever we saw something pretty to take pictures of, I thought about life back in California. Work, responsibilities, task lists, packed rush hour traffic, strangers who never say 'hello', speeding drivers, speeding grocery shoppers, agitated high-heeled speed-walking execs on their cell phones, and everything else that says 'Hurry! Go! Get more done! Your worth depends on it!' flashed in my mind and made me cringe. And then just made me feel bad for everyone still stuck in that lifestyle, and it suddenly appeared so foolish to me. Even if I already knew it was foolish, I realized how much worth I put in being busy and productive. I'll even try to look busy if I'm not, so others think I'm busy and important and accomplishing much. Sad, really.
But why is busyness so important? What does getting more done really accomplish? I guess it makes us feel good about ourselves. Or shields us from social or emotional confrontation we don't want to deal with. Or provides an excuse from doing the things that truly matter that we'd rather avoid. Of course there are many more reasons, but I know those are some of my biggest reasons for being busy. Our culture values it and so I place value and worth in what I'm doing and accomplishing. And I will admit that I perpetuate the problem - I judge people who aren't very busy or productive. You just sat around and watched TV today? You didn't do anything but hang out with friends? You're not exhausted from over-committing? What's wrong with you?
Granted, some of that is my personality, or some of it is truly over-committing to things I love doing and care about. Yet I realized how often I'll leave a party or social event early for reasons as lame as being a little tired, or just wanting alone time, or being uncomfortable with making slightly awkward conversation with people I don't know as well. I get so wrapped up in good things I need to get done that I ignore needs of people around me. Truth be told, sometimes accomplishing tasks is much easier than sitting down to listen to a friend talk about their problems.
However, community is an idea God has been laying more and more on my heart. How else do you get to share your faith besides getting to know people? How am I supposed to display Christ to my neighbors if I never allow space to be with them? How do I get into deep conversations if I'm always rushing to the next thing?
When we go to do ministry in Hollywood, we go with nothing but time. Time to hang out and get to know people. And when we have a building, it's going to be a place that fosters community and creates safe space for people to hang out and find out about Jesus in a comfortable environment that they actually want to be in. Hopefully many of us will be able to move there and become part of the community. If I were to live my same busy, rushed life there, I'd do no good. So, am I doing any good where I'm at?
In Hawaii I got to know my friends much better. I had time to just be with them and enjoy them and find fun things to do together. When I got back I listened to the sermon I'd missed at church, and he mentioned how people in the mid-west move slower. He said something like, "In California it's like we're rushing to go nowhere. In the mid-west, they know they're going nowhere, so they take their time". Funny comment, but true. One of my friends had said something very similar in Hawaii. Yet I still worry that I'll be judged for not doing enough, for having time to do nothing but sit around with people. Unless of course, I make it clear that I'm 'doing ministry'...then it's accepted.
So what am I rushing to? When I stand before God with my completed task list, will he be proud? Or say, "great. but did you love people? did you love me? did you read my word and take the time to respond?"
When I got back from vacation, I found myself driving a little bit slower, having more patience with slow store clerks or people walking in front of me or bad drivers. I stuck around at social gatherings just a little longer than I normally would, realizing I had nothing important to get home to. And when I truly had something I had to rush to, I felt pretty bad that I couldn't stick around longer with whoever I was with to dig more into their lives. Oddly, it kind of looked like love. I stopped focusing on how fast I could get to the next thing, and suddenly I had plenty of patience and compassion for others, even a desire to converse with them instead of just hurrying on.
I'm liking this so far, and plan to keep trying to incorporate some slowness into my life. There are still plenty of distractions in my downtime (such as the internet ...and blogging :))... so I don't quite have it down yet. But ultimately this is what I want my life to be about - someone who takes time for people, to hear and listen to them, be there for them, allow for conversations that lead to Christ. Maybe even do it so much that people wonder, "why is this girl like this? why does she spend so much time caring about me?" and hopefully cause them to wonder about God.
And if God leads me to serve the poor and needy in Hawaii, well, I guess that's just a sacrifice I'll have to make ;)
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Full Expression of the Gospel
From: http://poorinspirithw.blogspot.com/2009/05/full-expression-of-gospel.html:
I read these words from Newsong pastor Dave Gibbons this week and it made me think even more about the concept of community that God has been teaching me so much about lately:
"Yes, we're focused on comfort in the American church and it's led to a consumer church. In the process, we've missed the full expression of the gospel. We've missed out on the second most important commandment, which is to love your neighbor. And who is your neighbor? As defined in the scriptures-the story of the Good Samaritan-it's not someone like you, it's actually someone not like you, someone you are not naturally drawn to, someone of a different culture, someone you may even hate. Jesus said, Love God and love your neighbor. If you can love someone who is unlike you, that's when the world will take notice..."
I've been trying to interact more with my neighbors just within my apartment complex to get to know them and pray for them. I'm still working on how to tangibly love them while I barely know them, and praying that God will give me opportunities. Because God has placed me here and around these people for some reason, and I know I need to be a light to them.
But it made me think even more about community in Hollywood and how we do ministry there...
This past week I went to a conference with work and was able to interact with/hear from some big thinkers, consultants and pastors (such as Dave Gibbons) who are living in these kind of communities or working to build them. Since then, my mind has been flooded with possibilities of what ministry in Hollywood could look like, what community means, how important it is, and what that will require of me.
"Yes, we're focused on comfort in the American church and it's led to a consumer church. In the process, we've missed the full expression of the gospel. We've missed out on the second most important commandment, which is to love your neighbor. And who is your neighbor? As defined in the scriptures-the story of the Good Samaritan-it's not someone like you, it's actually someone not like you, someone you are not naturally drawn to, someone of a different culture, someone you may even hate. Jesus said, Love God and love your neighbor. If you can love someone who is unlike you, that's when the world will take notice..."
I've been trying to interact more with my neighbors just within my apartment complex to get to know them and pray for them. I'm still working on how to tangibly love them while I barely know them, and praying that God will give me opportunities. Because God has placed me here and around these people for some reason, and I know I need to be a light to them.
But it made me think even more about community in Hollywood and how we do ministry there...
This past week I went to a conference with work and was able to interact with/hear from some big thinkers, consultants and pastors (such as Dave Gibbons) who are living in these kind of communities or working to build them. Since then, my mind has been flooded with possibilities of what ministry in Hollywood could look like, what community means, how important it is, and what that will require of me.
..."When we got in to a new city to initiate ministry, what do we generally do? We think demographically: who is like me? Shouldn't we instead ask, Who are the most marginalized people in this community, and then go love on them? Love on them with no strings attached! I really believe that as we reach the marginalized we will reach the masses. Isn't this what God demonstrated? People who saw Jesus chose to be his disciples. They saw who he hung out with-the fringe-and they said, "Jesus is for us." That was the story that became viral."
I'm used to what Broken Hearts does in Hollywood, who we interact with and the lifestyle and environment down there. So I forget this, but truly, we stand out. People notice us and know what we do. We meet people who say they've known who we are and what we do for months, because they've watched us (unbeknownst to us). Why? We're mostly a bunch of white, college-aged, clean-cut kids who show up every week, completely out of place. We don't go for drugs or prostitution or crime...we're there to love people and tell them about Christ. That's not normal.
When a white girl who exudes naivete and innocence excitedly greets and hugs a black, transsexual prostitute and starts talking at a table in a donut shop about how their weeks have been, people take notice. Or a Lebanese college student from Orange County hangs out for an hour in a liquor store talking to the owner about his family, without ever buying alcohol, it stands out as abnormal.
And the more we can do of that, the more time we can spend in that area, interacting with these people on a daily basis and sharing their trials and being there for them day-in and day-out, the more that type of healthy community can grow and allow for the love of Christ to be more than words. Maybe that will water the seeds that have been planted and allow us to experience a great harvest.
It's easy to go to church on Sundays, have our small groups or bible studies throughout the week, go to a Christian school or work at a Christian job and say that we love our neighbors and hope others will see and experience that love. Which they absolutely can. But that's easy. Even the 'pagans' do that, it's not all that unique.
But what if I spend more time getting to know my next door neighbors of 4 different backgrounds and ethnicities and worldviews, and treat them like I would my Life Group? What if we all hung out with the homeless, poor, widows, gang members and drug dealers around us? How weird would that look? As a RockHarbor pastor recently taught, wouldn't that make people ask: "What happened here? What happened in this person's life to make them that way?"
Please join Broken Hearts in praying that God would give us a building, a way to pay for it, and wisdom to know how to use it to further an Acts-like community in Hollywood!
I'm used to what Broken Hearts does in Hollywood, who we interact with and the lifestyle and environment down there. So I forget this, but truly, we stand out. People notice us and know what we do. We meet people who say they've known who we are and what we do for months, because they've watched us (unbeknownst to us). Why? We're mostly a bunch of white, college-aged, clean-cut kids who show up every week, completely out of place. We don't go for drugs or prostitution or crime...we're there to love people and tell them about Christ. That's not normal.
When a white girl who exudes naivete and innocence excitedly greets and hugs a black, transsexual prostitute and starts talking at a table in a donut shop about how their weeks have been, people take notice. Or a Lebanese college student from Orange County hangs out for an hour in a liquor store talking to the owner about his family, without ever buying alcohol, it stands out as abnormal.
And the more we can do of that, the more time we can spend in that area, interacting with these people on a daily basis and sharing their trials and being there for them day-in and day-out, the more that type of healthy community can grow and allow for the love of Christ to be more than words. Maybe that will water the seeds that have been planted and allow us to experience a great harvest.
It's easy to go to church on Sundays, have our small groups or bible studies throughout the week, go to a Christian school or work at a Christian job and say that we love our neighbors and hope others will see and experience that love. Which they absolutely can. But that's easy. Even the 'pagans' do that, it's not all that unique.
But what if I spend more time getting to know my next door neighbors of 4 different backgrounds and ethnicities and worldviews, and treat them like I would my Life Group? What if we all hung out with the homeless, poor, widows, gang members and drug dealers around us? How weird would that look? As a RockHarbor pastor recently taught, wouldn't that make people ask: "What happened here? What happened in this person's life to make them that way?"
Please join Broken Hearts in praying that God would give us a building, a way to pay for it, and wisdom to know how to use it to further an Acts-like community in Hollywood!
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Working out and Follwing Jesus - Part 2: sacrifice as a necessary step to acheive a bigger purpose
I wrote a few days ago on the fitness concept of working out in order to become motivated to work out, and how similar that is to doing "God's will". Sometimes we need to step out in faith and just act, and then God will lead us or give us more direction.
But there are many other comparisons to be made...
Sometimes when I’m monotonously taking step after step on the stair machine, or lunging to the point that it feels like my legs are going to give out, I observe my own actions as well as those around me. The gym is filled, day-after-day, with people working towards a goal they have in mind. Be it health, weight loss, muscle-gain, endurance training, we all share a ‘no pain, no gain’ mentality. We have hope, and faith, that if we persist through the toil, we will come out better on the other end.
I enjoy working out for several reasons, but there are days when I’d rather be going out to dinner with friends or taking care of chores at home. But I go to the gym in a routine fashion, fully believing that if I put myself through some pain and difficulty and sacrifice a few things I’d rather be doing, that it’ll all pay off. Why else would I do squats or bicep curls that cause my muscles to burn and ache, or run interval sprints that wear me out? I have confidence that the momentary discomfort will make me stronger, faster, leaner, and help me to look and feel the way I hope for.
In other words, I’m willing to go through some discomfort and pain for something that I can’t see or assure, but that I believe is for my good, for a bigger purpose. And apparently, so are a lot of other people I see in the gym on a daily basis.
I constantly think about my life and how I'm living it for Christ. Am I sacrificing it enough? Am I too comfortable? Am I doing things that are hard, scary, difficult, because I know they'll result in the saving of souls and God's glory? Am I being lazy (like when I cop out and walk on a treadmill for 30 minutes just to say I did something that day) and just getting by? Or am I doing all I can do for God, knowing that the momentary discomfort is nothing compared to the treasure in Heaven? If I am aiming to be like Jesus, it is clear from the Bible that my life will include trials, persecution, discomfort, and doing things out of faith, trusting that he will provide the results.
I recently put a verse up on my mirror to read every day that is a perfect example of this from the apostle Paul:
"When I am with those who are weak, I share their weakness, for I want to bring the weak to Christ. Yes, I try to find common ground with everyone, doing everything I can to save some. I do everything to spread the Good News and share in its blessings. Don't you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified." - 1 Cor. 9:22-27
I wish I could say I have this nailed. That I do what Paul did. That I discipline the way I live my life the same way I discipline my physical body. I wish I could say I take every opportunity to share Christ with those who don't know him, that I pushed through discomfort to tell every person I encounter about him. I don't. Not even close.
But when I'm on a cardio machine with sweat pouring down my face, or lifting a weight to the point that my muscles are shaking and can't lift anymore, I wonder why I seem to train well for a 'prize' that will fade, while taking the easy way out when it comes to what really matters...
But there are many other comparisons to be made...
Sometimes when I’m monotonously taking step after step on the stair machine, or lunging to the point that it feels like my legs are going to give out, I observe my own actions as well as those around me. The gym is filled, day-after-day, with people working towards a goal they have in mind. Be it health, weight loss, muscle-gain, endurance training, we all share a ‘no pain, no gain’ mentality. We have hope, and faith, that if we persist through the toil, we will come out better on the other end.
I enjoy working out for several reasons, but there are days when I’d rather be going out to dinner with friends or taking care of chores at home. But I go to the gym in a routine fashion, fully believing that if I put myself through some pain and difficulty and sacrifice a few things I’d rather be doing, that it’ll all pay off. Why else would I do squats or bicep curls that cause my muscles to burn and ache, or run interval sprints that wear me out? I have confidence that the momentary discomfort will make me stronger, faster, leaner, and help me to look and feel the way I hope for.
In other words, I’m willing to go through some discomfort and pain for something that I can’t see or assure, but that I believe is for my good, for a bigger purpose. And apparently, so are a lot of other people I see in the gym on a daily basis.
I constantly think about my life and how I'm living it for Christ. Am I sacrificing it enough? Am I too comfortable? Am I doing things that are hard, scary, difficult, because I know they'll result in the saving of souls and God's glory? Am I being lazy (like when I cop out and walk on a treadmill for 30 minutes just to say I did something that day) and just getting by? Or am I doing all I can do for God, knowing that the momentary discomfort is nothing compared to the treasure in Heaven? If I am aiming to be like Jesus, it is clear from the Bible that my life will include trials, persecution, discomfort, and doing things out of faith, trusting that he will provide the results.
I recently put a verse up on my mirror to read every day that is a perfect example of this from the apostle Paul:
"When I am with those who are weak, I share their weakness, for I want to bring the weak to Christ. Yes, I try to find common ground with everyone, doing everything I can to save some. I do everything to spread the Good News and share in its blessings. Don't you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified." - 1 Cor. 9:22-27
I wish I could say I have this nailed. That I do what Paul did. That I discipline the way I live my life the same way I discipline my physical body. I wish I could say I take every opportunity to share Christ with those who don't know him, that I pushed through discomfort to tell every person I encounter about him. I don't. Not even close.
But when I'm on a cardio machine with sweat pouring down my face, or lifting a weight to the point that my muscles are shaking and can't lift anymore, I wonder why I seem to train well for a 'prize' that will fade, while taking the easy way out when it comes to what really matters...
Monday, May 11, 2009
Working out and Follwing Jesus - Part 1
I work out a lot. I love physical activity and being outdoors and active, or in the gym lifting weights or getting in a good cardio session.
I also love God. I love learning more about him, growing in faith and love, and trying to be like him.
I've always been aware that there are a lot of similarities between the physical and spiritual, but recently I just seem to be more aware and doing more comparisons. My physical life is becoming a source of better understanding for my spiritual life. Which is why I'm going to start a series of posts on the subject.
I read this in a fitness magazine the other day while I was on the stair machine: "Many people think we need to motivate ourselves before we take action, but the opposite is also true - by acting we can motivate ourselves," says Tal Ben-Shahar, Ph.D. "If you can force yourself to just get up and start moving, within minutes it'll get easier and your attitude will change."
It struck me that these same sentences could be inserted into a spiritual formation book and be talking about the Christian life. In fact, I'm pretty sure I've read things very similar to them in various books.
If you read enough fitness magazines, articles, etc, everyone says that when you don't feel like working out, just say you'll go for 5 or 10 minutes. Put your clothes on, get out the door, and do the 5 or 10 minutes. The majority of the time, once you've started you'll gain motivation, start to enjoy it, and end up doing a longer workout. Generally I'm pretty motivated to work out (probably because I'm also very motivated to eat!), but some days it's just hard. "I should swim today...but I don't want to, I'm too tired. But I really should. Ok, 20 minutes. I'll just do a good 20 minute swim and then be done." I've done that with runs, weights, elliptical machines, bike rides, etc. Most of the time, those days when I'm most tired and least motivated are the days I end up not only completing the 20 minutes, but getting so into and enjoying the endorphins so much that I go 40, 45, 60 minutes...just never quite ready to stop. And of course, am SO glad that I chose to just do it.
Similarly, there are many weeks I don't feel like going out to participate in ministry on the streets of Hollywood. I feel tired, lazy, sleepy, unfocused, etc. But I go anyway, thinking maybe I can leave early, maybe I can just talk to the 'regulars' that won't take as much energy, etc. Ususally those are the nights that I end up in amazing conversations that require great energy, and it's always there. Sometimes I even end the night energized and excited. Once I'm there, I enjoy it. It's just getting there that's hard. Or days that I see a homeless person on the side of the freeway that I want to pass up...but decide to stop and talk to, or give water to or whatever I have. And once I do, the conversation is really not so hard; and I'm happy I stopped, knowing I chose God over me (although I wish I could say that happens more than it does).
On a broader scale, many Christians often wonder 'what's God's will for me? Where does he want me? What ministry should I be doing?' I know I wondered that for a while, waiting for something to stir my heart and lead me to something. I participated in some things at church and heard about ministries that excited me. But nothing ever quite clicked. I just waited. Then I went to New Orleans. Not necessarily out of desire, but more just the thought that I had to do something (related to a break-up, so not entirely selfless). And God moved me. He stirred something in me that didn't really come to fruition until I was back and working on our church newspaper that led me to a story about a ministry in Hollywood. Again, the Holy Spirit gripped my heart and I never looked back. That's where most of my life and passion is dedicated now.
God helped me, he nudged me in the right directions. So, not exactly huge leaps of faith. But neither of those came from a 'wow, I really want to do this, God told me to do this!' kind of passion and feeling. But after I made a choice about something, then God did big things. I went, then he changed me and gave me direction. I didn't wait for motivation to strike, but went, feeling a big, "bleh", and came back with clarity and drive, glad that I'd gone. Just like when I say, "ugh, I guess I'll go to the gym for like 20 minutes. But that's all, then I'm outta there" and then stay for an hour...."Ok, I'll go to New Orleans....I'll go write this story, but that's it, then I'm outta there."...and still haven't left.
Not that it has to be that big. I joined a Life Group at church knowing I should, not because I love big groups of people and going to bed late. Now I love my Life Group and the community that is growing there.
Sure, I still wonder what God's will for me is in ministry or life in general...but I'm learning more often than not, whether at the gym or in my spiritual life, when I just go and do what I know I should, it almost always turns out much better than I could have hoped and God blesses the act of faith.
Don't look before you leap. Just leap. Then look back to see how God miraculously saved you from falling.
I also love God. I love learning more about him, growing in faith and love, and trying to be like him.
I've always been aware that there are a lot of similarities between the physical and spiritual, but recently I just seem to be more aware and doing more comparisons. My physical life is becoming a source of better understanding for my spiritual life. Which is why I'm going to start a series of posts on the subject.
I read this in a fitness magazine the other day while I was on the stair machine: "Many people think we need to motivate ourselves before we take action, but the opposite is also true - by acting we can motivate ourselves," says Tal Ben-Shahar, Ph.D. "If you can force yourself to just get up and start moving, within minutes it'll get easier and your attitude will change."
It struck me that these same sentences could be inserted into a spiritual formation book and be talking about the Christian life. In fact, I'm pretty sure I've read things very similar to them in various books.
If you read enough fitness magazines, articles, etc, everyone says that when you don't feel like working out, just say you'll go for 5 or 10 minutes. Put your clothes on, get out the door, and do the 5 or 10 minutes. The majority of the time, once you've started you'll gain motivation, start to enjoy it, and end up doing a longer workout. Generally I'm pretty motivated to work out (probably because I'm also very motivated to eat!), but some days it's just hard. "I should swim today...but I don't want to, I'm too tired. But I really should. Ok, 20 minutes. I'll just do a good 20 minute swim and then be done." I've done that with runs, weights, elliptical machines, bike rides, etc. Most of the time, those days when I'm most tired and least motivated are the days I end up not only completing the 20 minutes, but getting so into and enjoying the endorphins so much that I go 40, 45, 60 minutes...just never quite ready to stop. And of course, am SO glad that I chose to just do it.
Similarly, there are many weeks I don't feel like going out to participate in ministry on the streets of Hollywood. I feel tired, lazy, sleepy, unfocused, etc. But I go anyway, thinking maybe I can leave early, maybe I can just talk to the 'regulars' that won't take as much energy, etc. Ususally those are the nights that I end up in amazing conversations that require great energy, and it's always there. Sometimes I even end the night energized and excited. Once I'm there, I enjoy it. It's just getting there that's hard. Or days that I see a homeless person on the side of the freeway that I want to pass up...but decide to stop and talk to, or give water to or whatever I have. And once I do, the conversation is really not so hard; and I'm happy I stopped, knowing I chose God over me (although I wish I could say that happens more than it does).
On a broader scale, many Christians often wonder 'what's God's will for me? Where does he want me? What ministry should I be doing?' I know I wondered that for a while, waiting for something to stir my heart and lead me to something. I participated in some things at church and heard about ministries that excited me. But nothing ever quite clicked. I just waited. Then I went to New Orleans. Not necessarily out of desire, but more just the thought that I had to do something (related to a break-up, so not entirely selfless). And God moved me. He stirred something in me that didn't really come to fruition until I was back and working on our church newspaper that led me to a story about a ministry in Hollywood. Again, the Holy Spirit gripped my heart and I never looked back. That's where most of my life and passion is dedicated now.
God helped me, he nudged me in the right directions. So, not exactly huge leaps of faith. But neither of those came from a 'wow, I really want to do this, God told me to do this!' kind of passion and feeling. But after I made a choice about something, then God did big things. I went, then he changed me and gave me direction. I didn't wait for motivation to strike, but went, feeling a big, "bleh", and came back with clarity and drive, glad that I'd gone. Just like when I say, "ugh, I guess I'll go to the gym for like 20 minutes. But that's all, then I'm outta there" and then stay for an hour...."Ok, I'll go to New Orleans....I'll go write this story, but that's it, then I'm outta there."...and still haven't left.
Not that it has to be that big. I joined a Life Group at church knowing I should, not because I love big groups of people and going to bed late. Now I love my Life Group and the community that is growing there.
Sure, I still wonder what God's will for me is in ministry or life in general...but I'm learning more often than not, whether at the gym or in my spiritual life, when I just go and do what I know I should, it almost always turns out much better than I could have hoped and God blesses the act of faith.
Don't look before you leap. Just leap. Then look back to see how God miraculously saved you from falling.
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