I'll just start off acknowledging that this will not be my most brilliant post to-date. No original ideas or thought here. Simply pictures of an obvious truth that I think can be forgotten when sharing Christ. And pictures always make things much clearer and prove concepts very well, as they did for me this weekend.
Broken Hearts (the ministry I'm a part of) classifies itself as a 'relational evangelism ministry'. Meaning, we build relationships in order to share the gospel. We each have our unique ways of doing this - some are more bold and the first thing out of their mouth is about the gospel. Others spend weeks getting to know someone without saying a whole lot that's blatantly religious. But we all value being there every week to get to know people and tell them about Christ as we grow friendships and build trust in the community.
I'm fond of phrases like 'people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care' and 'preach the gospel at all times and when necessary use words' (which, just to clarify, is probably more often than not. Never giving a reason for the hope you have will not make disciples. And if people aren't asking, maybe we're not preaching the gospel with our actions). But it's just another concept that I assume in my head, thinking those phrases are true, but can't think of tons of examples to back them up, besides the crazy people on street corners with signs and microphones and seeing how people completely ignore them.
This week at Broken Hearts gave some proof to those concepts. We did an Exposure Night, where we invite anyone out who's interested in the ministry to join us and see what it's all about. A few of the people who came...well...didn't exactly have the most tact when sharing. Some common sense about people seemed to be lacking, and the concept of showing someone you care was absent. Now...some people can jump into a full-blown gospel presentation and have people crying and giving their lives to Jesus by the end without ever really knowing the person. Those are some seriously gifted individuals. But I haven't seen many pull that off well, and it didn't work that way this week. If I hadn't been so concerned with the relationships I'd been building, I would have found it just funny to see this all play out (ok, I still found it mildly funny).
There were 2 people in particular whose demeanor I saw completely change depending on who they were talking to. I had picked up conversation with a guy I've known for a few weeks, but when one of our visitors entered the conversation and began asking him if he knew about Jesus and going off with all the Christianese phrases, 'Rick' turned cold. He stopped looking this person in the eye, eyes kind of glazed over and stopped responding. And when asked a question, even if Rick didn't answer, this person just kept on going with what he wanted to say. Rick was clearly annoyed and eventually I stepped back in and tried to salvage the conversation.
I've talked with Rick a lot, as well as some others on our team have, and he loves talking to us and coming to bible study; he asked to take a bible home last week and continues to show interest. But when talking to this other person, he became unfriendly, disinterested, and annoyed. A few minutes of easing the tension and he warmed up again and said he'd like to go to church with me if I came to take him that Sunday.
A few minutes later I overheard this same guy talking to a girl standing at the bus stop where we were hanging out. She was staring straight ahead, focusing on the street in front of her and saying nothing to him. But he kept talking and talking. Yes, he was speaking truth and saying gospel messages, but she was entirely unresponsive and apparently turned off. It was stressing me out too much that I had to interrupt. I don't remember how, but I basically made my way into the conversation and within a few minutes, she was chatting with me, still not making much eye contact, but was chatting happily and laughing and answering my questions about herself. She told me that she'd met Michelle (another girl in BH) a few weeks before and was curious if she was there this evening. And by the end of the conversation, she joined us for bible study even though she was worried about missing her ride home. She borrowed my phone and called her ride so she could work out a meeting place and walked with us to find Michelle and say hi and then over to bible study with all of us.
My opinion is that some people may do this 'bold gospel sharing' and get so excited that they got to 'share' and attribute any rejection or lack of response to being hated by the world, or persecuted. And in some instances that's true. People don't always like the gospel message and we'll be hated at times for sharing it. It's also easy to swing the other way and be so relational and full of 'grace' that we never really get to the important stuff and people think Christians are just like everyone else, which may be equally dangerous. However these seemed to be some clear instances that, by just getting to know some people and showing interest in their lives, they're much more inclined to listen to you, care about what you have to say, and be willing to learn - or re-learn what they've rejected - as a result of someone caring. Especially in a place like Hollywood - they already have enough noise and people talking at them and so few people actually listening that they don't need one more voice telling them what to do.
No credit to me, but only to the method of being relational and caring, I could see clear changes in demeanor and openness when the conversation was relaxed and two-way, rather than being preached at. And both of these conversations ended with accepted invitations to church. They didn't seem to be rejecting the religious topics, just the method of the message.
Then today I was at The Hollywood Church ( http://www.thehollywoodchurch.com/) , because I had gone up to take 'Rick' (who didn't actually show up, but oh well). I recommend people to this church all the time, but haven't actually been before. I just know they have a passionate heart for the city and accept the people that some churches might make feel uncomfortable. I haven't experienced that many churches, but I feel like most of them don't look as much like the early church as we should. I think the Hollywood Church is doing a good job with this - living in Hollywood and focused on reaching those around them, welcoming all, participating with BH and helping us out, breaking bread together after church and not so massive that most people know each other within this church family.
I stuck around for lunch after the service and met a guy who was sitting next to me and we began talking about Broken Hearts. He expressed interest in coming, and talked about someone he'd talked to recently in the city who he'd had the opportunity to minister to. And near the end of the conversation (which included Bryan, one of the guys we've been discipling through BH), he offered his name and number to Bryan in case he ever wanted to hang out. Antquan and I had just been talking to another guy at church about getting Bryan more involved so he could meet more guys. And without knowing any of that or ever having met Bryan before, he just picked up on the shyness from Bryan and gave him his name and number let him know they could hang out anytime.
I don't remember what it was later as I was driving home that made me think this, but something made me realize, "I would listen to that guy. I would hear out his advice or wisdom. I would value what he had to say." I had only talked to him for 10 minutes or less. But I had seen several instances of his faith expressing itself in works and in love. I hardly knew anything about him, except that he'd tried to get to know us, and wanted to give of himself and his time for other people. And that made me think about others at the church who I've seen or heard of actually living out their faith and loving Hollywood. I'd pay attention to things they had to say. Heck, I already want to know more about their church and the people who make it up, because I see they love God and love people.
In general, I realize that I take opinions and wisdom from people who live what they believe, who don't pre-judge, who listen, who seek to understand and not just assume. Even if it's someone I know well, if I can tell they're not trying to understand me or my situatoin before they prescribe a solution, I take their advice very lightly unless it's confirmed by others I might trust more.
And now it's just that much clearer to me that it probably works similarly in all situations. If I don't show that I love a person, can I successfully share the hope that I have? Or am I just a noisy gong or clanging symbol?
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