After the Tragedy

Perhaps the most horrible part of tragedy is not the actual event, but the repercussion and consequences of that disaster. In light of recent national events, and time to reflect on my own experiences, I am compelled to pray for so many people in need, and ask others to do the same.

When a “tragedy” strikes, there is generally a lot of instant sympathy, prayers, rescue aid, support, media attention, etc. The individuals or group going through the tragedy realize that they have many people who are watching and praying and thinking about them. Money, donations and support pour in, notes of sympathy, moments of silence, news coverage with titles like “Special Report” accompanied by sad music and somber voices of reporters. In the middle of chaos and shock, all that matters is getting through the moment, releasing emotion through tears and sadness, and dealing with loss. And there seem to be many supporters to help them grieve and cope.
This can be seen with the incident at Virginia Tech recently, right before the anniversary of the Columbine shooting. Another example is Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans and Mississippi.

Though these incidents are horrific and traumatizing that in the aftershock, there is so much sympathy and support and understanding, it actually makes it slightly easier to manage. But as a former student of Columbine High School, and recently having seen the state of affairs in New Orleans, Louisiana, I know for a fact that the ripple effect of these “storms” is often the hardest part.

Just as it was with Columbine, so it will probably be with Virigina Tech. In a few weeks and months, people will forget. The nation will go back to its normal worries of money and Iraq and distractions like tanning salons and nice cars and designer purses. They will deal with their own issues, and forget about those students that they mourned with for a day or two. As they move on with their lives, they will assume that the students affected by this horror are also moving on, and forget to pray or show support.

Meanwhile, these students will be left with memories of friends and fellow students, the sickening sound of gunshots, and media cameras buzzing around like annoying mosquitoes. They will be haunted by images of Cho speaking angrily into a camera, holding guns that he employed to kill 32 people. They will attempt to go back to classes and concentrate, attend funerals, avoid movies with guns, break out in tears for no reason….and move on slowly with their lives while everyone else around them forgets. Forgets to pray, forgets about them, and only remembers their own problems. And in one year, it will be plastered across the news again when the anniversary comes around, for people to mourn and remember for one day, and then forget again. Meanwhile, the survivors will carry on with wounds in their heart and bad memories, missing their friends and family. They will still have nightmares, still be frightened by certain sounds or images, and have no one but each other to remember to pray for them or offer encouragement.

Of course, I am not exempt from this behavior. Having just been to New Orleans, I realize my own tendency to do this. In fact, I tend to lack the empathy from the beginning – when you are not close to the situation, it just doesn’t impact you much. But I realized the need for compassion and for a helping hand going down there. I can’t even begin to imagine what they went through, even when I hear their stories. It didn’t hit me hard when it first happened 20 months ago, because it’s far away and does not affect my daily life. My job and friends and time were just more important to me. But my prayers and efforts are so appreciated, and I had no idea. Why didn’t I go down to help from the beginning? I’m trying to figure out which pair of shoes to buy, and they’re just trying to find a pair of shoes to slosh through the water with.
The residents of Louisiana are also forgotten - a few months pass, and people move on. The news shows a Mardi Gras celebration as the city rebuilds, and everyone feels warm fuzzies, happy that they are getting on with their lives. But they are left to live with it every day, with little help from the government, and few volunteers to help them rebuild. They struggle on by themselves now, struggling for food and clothing and a place to live, while people in other parts of the country go to a home every night, out to eat, and shop for anything they want from their local mall or boutique. Is anyone still praying for these people?
As I write, I realize this concept applies to anyone going through a hard time as well. Everyone is compassionate in the beginning, but somehow we all get caught up in our own issues and forget about each other. (And also something that I desperately need to work on). Sometimes all you need is a listening ear, a compassionate heart and some prayer, months or even years after the ordeal.

“A religious man is a person who holds God and man in one thought at one time, at all times, who suffers harm done to others, whose greatest passion is compassion, whose greatest strength is love and defiance of despair. “ – Abraham Joshua Heschel