Surfer Girl To Be

When I came out to college....6 years ago (yikes, when did I get old?...and old enough to ask a question like, "When did I get so old?")....I came with hopes and dreams of learning to surf. I've always loved the beach and everything about it...always envisioned myself marrying some blond, tan surfer dude from California. We would of course be rich and own a beach house, and spend our Saturday mornings running on the beach, or surfing together.

So, I told my brother-in-law that I wanted him to teach me. When that didn't seem to be happening anytime soon, I asked a friend a college to teach me. 6 years later, and after asking a few other people, I'm finally learning. Surfing, the quintessential beach and summer sport. What true Californians do...what cute guys do...what tough chicks do.

I had visions of getting up on my board my first time out and finding out what it felt like to ride on a wave. Sure, it would take a while to get good, and it would be tough swimming past all of those waves, but it would be great. I'd go out every weekend and surf with all the dudes out early in the morning, the hardcore surfers. I'd finally be able to wear that "Surfer Chick" shirt I bought in Hawaii 6 years ago with pride; nevermind the fact I already got rid of it because I so wasn't a surfer chick, and had moved onto other, more trendy styles.

Oh, how foolish I was. My first time out with my friend Maceo went a bit more like this:

Get to the beach, and pull on our wetsuits and meander down to the sand with surfboards under arm, loving the feeling of totally fitting in with the Newport scene. Get to the sand, and realize that when the wind is blowing and you're carrying a 7-foot heavy slab around, the wind carries the board and you almost get knocked down. So, make it past the first element and get near the water. Study the waves (what am I looking for?) and head out into the cold Pacific water, ready to finally learn how to surf. We get to the point where you lay on the board and begin to paddle out. This is where my hopes and dreams are essentially dashed and I realize I am not going to be "surfer chick" anytime soon.

Laying down on the board apparently requires balance - who knew? I lay down, and pretty much immediately fall right off. Get back on, and paddle while wavering side to side, trying with all my might not to fall off again. "Why is it so hard to lay on a board?" I ask Maceo. The laughter begins, as I realize I'm such a joke and so not athletically inclined. I mean, I'm a pretty good swimmer, I have good core balance, but throw a board under me and it's all over. I find that I have this weird inclination to lean my weight to the right, and have to intentionally tell myself to shift my hips so that I don't keep falling over. We make it past the breaking waves, now out where we can sit on our boards and watch the waves come in.

Now if laying on the board was tough, sitting on the board is pretty much a comedy act. Over and over, I sit up on the board, and when the tiniest movement of a wave comes around me, I'm already off. I thought I had some semblance of balance, but apparently not. Why did no one ever tell me that simply sitting on a board requires mass skill in itself - forget actually standing up on a board. The next 20 minutes or so are basically a montage of me sitting on the board, bumped by waves, my board turning over, feet flying up in the air, hands batting the board away so as to not acquire any laseratoins, splashing, spitting, and laughing so much that it makes all of this that much harder.

I finally realize that sitting on the board is just not the way to go for me. Nor is laying sideways to see the waves. Instead, laying on the board, facing the shore, and waiting for Maceo to tell me when a wave is coming is a much more effective plan. I try to ignore the other surfers who can obviously tell I'm new and have no idea what I'm doing, and am pretty much just getting in their way.

The rest of the day goes a bit better, learning to watch and paddle as waves come, and simply riding them in body-board style. This part actually seems to work quite well for me. I don't know whether to aim right or left when I go with the wave, I just let Maceo tell me that. But riding them in works quite well for me; standing on a board, pfsh - who needs it? I always enjoyed body surfing in Hawaii, this is even better...perhaps I'll just stick with this....But no, that image of the surfer girl, the one who tells people, "Yeah, I surf. I go out about every week...no, I don't use a long board....the news said the surf is going to be great this weekend, I'm totally going out"...is stuck in my head. I wanted to learn how to surf, and gosh dangit I'm going to learn...I didn't come out here to body board.

The last hour of the morning I spend in the "white wash", attempting to "pop-up" on the board. Which turns out to be more like shallow body-boarding, legs flailing, feet getting cut up on shells, bashing against the board but never really making it up, and drinking a lot of salt water. But I can say for myself at this time, I would be a great knee-boarder. I'm a pro at getting my knees on the board and riding a wave. Even kneeling on one knee and one foot attempting to get up. Perhaps I will trade in my board for a boat and a knee board...oh wait, no, I'm here to learn how to surf.

3 hours later I am no surfer girl...I can't stand up on a board. But i can sit out in the water and watch waves and ride them in lying down. And I can kneel on my board when dropping in on a wave, er, foamy white wash breaking at shore. However, I am still triumphant. I am one step closer to being a surfer girl...I am on my way to learning and standing up on the waves and riding them in like the big boys.

(I've been out a few times since, and can happily say that I am now able to stand up on a board. Last night I was planning to actually try to ride the real waves, but the sky was overcast, the waves were choppy, and most of my time was spent trying not to be to swept down the shoreline and being taken out by a 9-foot board that probably weighs more than I do. )

One day soon I'll be able to strut proudly in my wetsuit, board under arm, knowing that I'm actually going out to ride the waves and cut through water with elegance and ease, instead of just being a poser with a borrowed surfboard and lots of bruises.